Cullen IMing!
by JBizz
Summary: What happens when a house full of psycho vamps and 3 werewolves get IM? Well lots happens. *Crash* Uh oh time to run. Esme is gonna kill you guys!
1. Chapter 1

I do not and never will own anything Twilight. Unfortunately I can never have my dear Jasper!!

This is a series of awesome tastic amazingness!! HEHE!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: Hi self

machonachoman: Hi back, other self!

machonachoman: I'm bored!

machonachoman: me too!!

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: Emmett why are you in chat all alone?

machonachoman: I'm bored!!

Eddy4life: That explains little.

Ifeelyahman has entered chat

Ifeelyahman: Can someone tell me why we are on IM when we live in the same house!

wolfgang has entered chat

wolfgang: I don't!

Ifeelyahman: Ugh! Who invited the dog?

Eddy4life: Um, excuse me! I did thank you. Oh! Invite Sethykins!

superqueerface has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Let's go shopping!

Eddy4life: Um...Alice where did you come from?

shoppingishmyfuture: I've been here! looks back and forth

machonachoman: What!? Since when?

shoppingishmyfuture: Since like forever!

machonachoman: So you heard me...talking to myself?

shoppingishmyfuture: Yeah basically. So Bella let's go shopping!!

Eddy4life: How bout' no! Don't I have enough clothes?

shoppingishmyfuture: GASP Oh no you just didn't!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: OMG!! Edward hey!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Hello. How is everything in the way too complex digital world?

machonachoman: OMG!!

superqueerface: What?

machonachoman: What if...the Jonas Brothers were vampires!?

superqueerface: They would look a lot better.

Eddy4life: Well now that Emmett's random comment is out of the way... can we get back to life please?

machonachoman: Never!! Alice what do you think?

shoppingishmyfuture: Jacob! Can I break the treaty and turn them?

wolfgang: Uh...no. Why would you do that?

shoppingishmyfuture: Because they are AMAZING!!

Eddy4life: No they aren't. They are super queer faces!

superqueerface: HEY!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: This is completely insane and pointless.

Eddy4life: Aw! Eddy don't tell me you are gay for the JB's!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: rolls eyes Wow! no I am not gay for them. Or anyone else for that matter.

Eddy4life: Just checkin'! ;P

Ifeelyahman: This is a tad awkward. Believe me I can tell.

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh Jazzy!

**Ok so this is the numero uno chapter! Please reveiw. Update comming soon (to dvd) teehee! A Jbizz and Leila Whatson production!**


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own (neither does Leila) any of the Twilight series or these amazing carries. We just gave them all laptops and made them some IM accounts! ENJOY!! I LOVE JASPER!! (Leila: He is not REAL!) I CAN DREAM RIIIIITE!! (Leila: No.)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Emmett do you think Edward is mad about the whole gay comment?

machonachoman: Nah!

Eddy4life: Are you sure? Cuz he is bein a total jerk about it. I think he really likes the Jonas Brothers (in a non gay way)

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered the chatroom

it'snotwhatyouthink: Can we not get back on the JB subject please?

Eddy4life: I'm really sorry bout' that Edward. I won't call you gay again.

machonachoman: Well we have no actual proof. Little Eddy here still has his virtue after a century. Some queerness is detected.

superqueerface has entered chat

superqueerface: HEY!!

superqueerface has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Just because I waited for the right person instead of whoever would have me doesn't make me gay. And I'll have you know that I am no longer a v-

Eddy4life: EDWARD!! Enough!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to embarrass you.

machonachoman: Oh come off it Edward.

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Knock it off guy!! Edward is NOT gay and Emmett IS a man whore.

FBW has entered chat

FBW: Leave Emmett alone! Just because we have more fun then you and Jasper!!

shoppingishmyfuture: OH NO YOU JUST DIDN'T!! Bring it on!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

FBW: She is so on!

FBW has left chat

Eddy4life: Ok that was weird. What is with Rose's name?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Another time love another time.

BRB has entered chat

BRB: why in the world are there two vampires fighting in the front yard like total morons?

Eddy4life: HAHAHAHAHA!

it'snotwhatyouthink: (cough cough)

machonachoman: I don't get it...

Eddy4life: Emmett hon. Rose and Alice are fighting because of you always having something negative to say about Edward and I's relationship.

machonachoman: Like whatever!

machonachoman has left chat

BRB: BRB

BRB has left chat

Eddy4life: That was interesting.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes. Interesting it was.

Eddy4life: Um...total Yoda moment!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Sorry...

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: GUESS WHY!!

Eddy4life: Why?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh please don't encourage him.

machonachoman: YODA PIE!!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: What...the...heck!?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett

Eddy4life: ILOVEYOU!

it'snotwhatyouthink: That was completely random but I love you too!

Eddy4life: AW!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Sshhhh! Esme and Carlisle are coming.

**HAHAH! CLIFF HANGER! Sorry guys but an update will be up in about 2 hours. After INDIANA JOOOONES!!**


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Twilight (unfortunately) but this story rocks! I suggest you read our other story: Bellanapping. Funny!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

yo yo mama! has entered chat

Dr. Vampy dude has entered chat

Dr. Vampy dude: Hello, sweetheart.

yo yo mama!: Hello, honey bunch!

Dr. Vampy dude: I can't believe we got the kids out of chat!

yo yo mama!: Yes...now

it'snotwhatyouthink: Hem hem!

Dr. Vampy dude: Oh! Edward I didn't realize...

Eddy4life: It's ok Carlisle we were just logging off.

yo yo mama!: It's ok we were just leaving.

yo yo mama! has left chat

Dr. Vampy dude has left chat

Eddy4life: That was weird.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Tell me about it.

Eddy4life: Well now we got rid of Emmett.

machonachoman has joined chat

Eddy4life: Speak of the devil

it'snotwhatyouthink: and the devil shall come.

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Hey, guys!

Eddy4life: No Alice I will not go shopping.

machonachoman: LIMA BEANS!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett, she's never going to fall for that...thanks, Alice. shakes head

Eddy4life: Fall for what?

machonachoman: LIMA BEANS!

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: Lima beans are attacking me!

Eddy4life: Um...killer lima beans?

machonachoman: YES!

shoppingishmyfuture: Lol, Emmett! Just say it already!

Eddy4life: what are you talking about?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella, don't.

machonachoman: Bella, save me! They're raping me!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella I told you. Next time just listen to me.

machonachoman: OH GOD!! Save me!! HELP! S.O.S.!

shoppingishmyfuture: I love that song!

machonachoman: That's not what I meant, Alice! Help!

Ifeelyahman has entered chat

Ifeelyahman: What's so funny?

Eddy4life: You don't want to know.

machonachoman: HELP! CAN'T BREATHE!

it'snotwhatyouthink: You don't have to breathe, Emmett.

machonachoman: Oh. right. HELP!

shoppingishmyfuture: give it up, Emmett.

machonachoman: (sigh) fine.

Eddy4life: Alice, do you know when the sunrise will be?

shoppingishmyfuture: Let there be light!!

Eddy4life: Wow. I'm still not used to that. Right on time.

shoppingishmyfuture: Can we go shopping, now?

Eddy4life: NO!

**in case you didn't know, Bella is a vampire in our hilarious story. Lima beans? Emmett is crazy!**


	4. Chapter 4

So Leila and I do not own Kung Fu Panda or anything Twilight. (we don't even own enough laptops to give to the Cullens) and unfortunetly (Leila: We get it you love Jasper! Sheesh! He isn't even hot!) Oh no you didn't! Jake is a hobo! (Leila: Let's take this outside!) BUT I DOOOO OWN THE CRICKETS!! (Leila: Lies!)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!) (Jbizz: Ask us in a review if you really want to know.)  
_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: Dangit! Emmett why are we always in this stupid chat room together?

machonachoman: Because you are secretly in love with me.

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Don't even start with that Emmett. And keep your thoughts to yourself!!

machonachoman: Don't be such a prude Eddy!

it'snotwhatyouthink: How would you like it if I thought those things about Rosalie?

Eddy4life: What are you thinking about Rosalie?!

it'snotwhatyouthink: No, no! Bella it's not what you think!

Eddy4life: Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!! Don't test me!

machonachoman: Haha! Eddy is in big trouble!

FBW has entered chat

FBW: What you are thinking about Bella?! Emmett you had better explain yourself right this instant! I will rip your head off.

machonachoman: Aw Rose. You love my head too much. Aint it perty! (puppy dog eyes)

FBW: Fine fine. Come on babe!

machonachoman has left chat

FBW: haha! What a moron. Well time to hand him off to Alice!

FBW has left chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: OMG!! I just got a vision! ROSE IS GONNA LET ME GIVE EMMETT A ...A...A...YESH!!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

Eddy4life: What is she talkin' bout'...oh!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um yeah. This should be interesting.

Eddy4life: Can she really restrain him long enough to give him a makeover?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um...Alice is small but she is fierce.

Eddy4life: That is frightening.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Very

Eddy4life: Has she ever given you one?

it'snotwhatyouthink: I would rather not talk about this.

Eddy4life: Aw! Eddy why not!

it'snotwhatyouthink: 1) please for the love of god don't call me Eddy. 2) it was way too embarrassing and a very long time ago.

superqueerface has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

superqueerface: Legend tells of a legendary warrior...

wolfgang: who's kung fu skills were the stuff of legends!

Eddy4life: Riiiight...

it'snotwhatyouthink: What is it guys?

wolfgang: Oh nothing. We were just trying to top Emmetts lima bean escapade.

Eddy4life: I don't think anything could top that!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Where did that come from anyway?

wolfgang: (GASP!) You have never seen _Kung Fu Panda!_

swuperqueerface: (GASP_ith!_)

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um I have been all around the world and have never seen a panda that can do kung fu.

Eddy4life: Edward it is a movie.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh...

Eddy4life: (_crickets:cheep cheep_)

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: Guess why!

Eddy4life: Oh no Emmett. I am not falling for that again.

superqueerface: Why?

Eddy4life: SETH! You queer hobo!

machonachoman: YODA'S CRY!!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: GOD SETH! Why are you such a hobo?

superqueerface: Aw Bella! I just wanted to know.

Eddy4life: Well you don't have to life with him. Now he will be talking about Yoda whatever for 3 days!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella dear. Don't get mad at Seth.

superqueerface: Yeah besides I am not the hobo here! Jacob lives in a box!

wolfgang: WHAT?! I do NOT! That's it you're on!

superqueerface has left chat

wolfgang has left chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Edward have I ever told you how much I love you?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes Bella. Why do you ask?

Eddy4life: Well because I just realized how grateful I am that you aren't that immature! ;P

it'snotwhatyouthink: Follow me!

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

Eddy4life has left chat

ifeelyahman: Well geeze. I guess nobody wants to talk to me.

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: I DO JAZZY!!

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Let's go Jess! (drags Jessie by ear away from Jasper)

Jbizz: I LOVE YOU JASPER!!

Jbizz has left chat

Leila Whatson has left chat

ifeelyahman: Yeah...

ifeelyahman has left chat

**What do yah think?! Thanks so much for all your support guys. Oh Leila sorry for not waiting for you and writing this chapter solo but as you can tell I was listening when you were rambling today so I did use your ideas! LUV YAH!! Update coming soon (I hope! ;P)**


	5. Chapter 5

Alrighty then home skillets (A/N Leila: Never again will you say that) Wow sorry Yoda! Anywho! We don't own Twilight or the carries that genius is Stephanie Meyer! And we don't own that song that I don't know the name of. The lonely one. Yeah you catch meh drift! But I do own my love for JASPER!! (A/N Leila: UGH!)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: OMC!! Emmett is not here! MUHAHAHAH!

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Dammit! Well thanks a lot Emmett I thought I had broken the trend!

machonachoman: Now I couldn't let you do that could I?

Eddy4life: Speaking of that...how do you always know when I am going to get on chat?

machonachoman: I have my ways! Do not question me Bella Marie Swan Cullen!

Eddy4life: You know you don't have to add in my maiden name.

machonachoman: But!(sniffles) You always do that to Eddy!

Eddy4life: Touche'!

FBW has entered chat

FBW: EMMETT! Leave Bella alone and get your stupid butt in here young man!

machonachoman: Rose I am not young but I am coming.

FBW had left chat

machonachoman: Geeze what's up wit her?

Eddy4life: Do I look like a mind reader to you Emmett?

machonachoman: THAT'S IT!! I will go ask that psychic in Port Angeles what's wrong with Rose!

Eddy4life: Um Emmett why don't you just ask Edward. Cuz uh he _can _read minds.

machonachoman: Oooo oooo ooo! I got a better idea! How bout' I go ask Edward. Cuz yah know he _can _read minds.

Eddy4life: Wow Emmett did you come up with that all on your own?

machonachoman: Yes! Yes I did. Aren't I brilliant.

Eddy4life: A genius...

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: I am so lonely! I'm mister lonely! I need somebody on IM!! OOO OOO!! LONELY!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: EDWARD!! OMC! I am no longer lonely!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um...Bella dear. We all live in the same house. If you were lonely why didn't you just log off and yell for me?

Eddy4life: Oh...so now you are a genius too? Well I wasn't really lonely. I was cyber lonely! There is a difference.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Right. I hate this dumb chatroom. I can't read minds through the computer. So it is difficult.

Eddy4life: Maybe you shouldn't rely so much on your mindreading-ness.

wolfgang has entered chat

superqueerface has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hey puppies!! What's going on at the kennel?

wolfgang: ...

Eddy4life: Sorry I just couldn't help it. I came up with that off the top of my head. So what's going on friends?

superqueerface: Nothing much Bella. And yourself

Eddy4life: Same old same old

superqueerface: JAKE! I AM YOUR...FATHER!

wolfgang: My dad is fishing with Charlie you idiot!

superqueerface: Oh right. Sorry I um...gotta go!

superqueerface has left chat

Eddy4life: What's up with him?

wolfgang: Oh it's nothing. He is just a little strange at times.

Eddy4life: Obviously. That's why we love him.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella? You love another man?

Eddy4life: Oh Eddy! You are so cute when you are jealous! I love Seth like I love Jake!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh right. Sorry...

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Great time for Emmett's stupid saying of the day!

machonachoman: Bella Bella Bella! Silly girl! If you only knew what my killer Lima beans would do to you!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Are you threatening my wife with killer veggies?

machonachoman: And if I was? Maybe all of the cows do come from Laffy Taffy land. But they never complain!

machonachoman has left chat

wolfgang: Right...

**SOOOO! What do yah think? Me and Leila are having a lot of fun with this! Teehee! Please review. I am being good today. I am going to update at least 3 times tonight so as to make up for all the lost time. I love you guys! KEEP IT VAMPY!**


	6. Chapter 6

No ownage of Twilight! Because I am just not that cool... (cries self to sleep)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Bella will you go shopping with me pweeze!

Eddy4life: I think not Alice. Besides today is the day.

shoppingishmyfuture: The day for what?

Eddy4life: The gansta' day. We must act gangster when Eddy comes and then we will laugh silently at his reaction! MUHAHAH!

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh is that today. Man I have lost track of the days.

Eddy4life: GAH! Alice you can see the future and you didn't see gangster day coming?

shoppingishmyfuture: Nobody's perfect

Eddy4life: I gotta work it!

ifeelyahman has entered chat

ifeelyahman: AGAIN AND AGAIN TIL' I GET IT RIGHT!!

Eddy4life: OH! Hey Jazzy!

shoppingishmyfuture: IT'S TIME BELLA!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: WAZZUP PEEPS! FO SHIZZLE!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella did you just say "fo shizzle"?

Eddy4life: Yes I did Eddy! It is quite fun to say. You try!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I'd rather not

machonachman has entered chat

machonachoman: It is because he is a prude.

Eddy4life: That is not nice Emmy!

machonachoman: It is too see I will say it. Fo shizzle!

shoppingishmyfuture: FO SHIZZLE!

ifeelyahman: Fo shizzle!

machonachoman: See everyone can say fo shizzle cept' the prude-oid Edward.

Eddy4life: Omigod! Guys stop bein so mean to Edward!

it'snotwhatyourthink: Fo shizzle my bizzle chizzle fizzle!

machonachoman: Wow!

**Kinda short. I know! But the izzles had to be released! ;P**


	7. Chapter 7

Ok so if anyone is still questioning my ownership of Twilight I am sad to say I do not own it. Yesh I might just be soooo amazingly awesome at writing IM convo's but still I don't own anything Twilight!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Edward!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I know

shoppingishmyfuture: You think

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yeah

Eddy4life: Ok what the heck! You guys are having a silent convo and I feel very left out. OMIGOD! What'd Emmett do this time.

shoppingishmyfuture: Soon enough young grasshopper...

Eddy4life: GAH! Fine I guess I will wait!

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: Hey! I just paper ma shayed Rosalie!

shoppingishmyfuture: HEHE! Hilarious!

FBW has entered chat

FBW: SOOOO not funny Emmett! How did you get away with this!?

machonachoman: I just did! YESH! Oh where is Jasper? I need his help with...something.

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh Emmett that is-

machonachoman: EH! I don't wanna hear it. I wanna ask Jazz myself!

ifeelyahman has entered chat

ifeelyahman: What do you need help with Emmett?

machonachoman: Ok so I am going to try out for American Idol and I need you to come with me and keep the judges happy so I get in.

Eddy4life: Oh Emmett why would you do that. You can't even sing!

machonachoman: DO NOT JUDGE ME BELLA CULLEN!

Eddy4life: Fine fine geeze! Proceed!

machonachoman: And I need you to come with me through the performances to keep voters happy so that I win! YAY FOR EMMETT! GO EMMETT GO EMMETT GO EMMETT!!

ifeelyahman: Sorry Em I can't do that.

machonachoman: Wuh! But! You! UGH! You're no fun!

ifeelyahman: I have never claimed to be fun Emmett.

machonachoman: Good cuz then you would be a LIER! (sobs)

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: Does he not realize that he can't cry?

it'snotwhatyouthink: I suppose not.

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: HAHA! I got rid of her. Jasper please I need you to be MINE!

shoppingishmyfuture: HEY! He is mine sister! And who the hell are you?

Jbizz: I am one of the authors of this here story! Is that a problem WOMAN!

shoppingishmyfuture: ACTUALLY! Now that you mention it!

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Hey! Jessie what did I tell you about messing with the characters?

Jbizz: Um...I don't remember.

Leila Whatson: GAH! Great now look what you have done! Ok I expect you to fix this!

Leila Whatson has left chat

Jbizz: (sigh) (pulls out little flashy thing from MIB and flashes everyone in chat but self who has cool sunglasses on!;P) You didn't see anything!

Jbizz has left chat

machonachoman: Metal Pancakes!

Eddy4life: Wow that would be like really nasty to eat.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Tell me about it...


	8. Chapter 8

Maybe we don't own Twilight or McDonalds or even David Mac David's but we do have the most awesometastic fans!! One inparticular was my first fan eva and the best reviewer! **MY NUMBA 1 FAN mishacon! WOOOH MISHACON!! GO YOU GO YOU! **btw I don't own apple bottom jeans by tpain either!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice-shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

yo yo momma has entered chat

Eddy4life: APPLE BOTTOM JEANS! BOOTS WIT DA' FUR! (wit da' fur) DA' WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKIN AT HER!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella hon what is wrong with you?

Eddy4life: Sorry that song is stuck in my head. Sometimes it helps to write it out.

yo yo momma: SHE HIT DA' FLO! NEXT THANG YAH KNOW SHAWTY GOT LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Esme it is over now.

yo yo momma: sorry I type sort of slow.

Eddy4life: Maybe you should use text slang instead to make it shorter.

yo yo momma: What do you mean?

Eddy4life: Well instead of saying "How is everyone's day going?" you say "Howz every1s day goin" or instead of "What is going on my best friend Jill" you say "Wazzup my BFF Jill?"

yo yo momma: But I don't know anyone names Jill.

Eddy4life: (slaps head) Esme just practice. You are obviously not fit for the txtin life fo sho!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What is "fo sho"?

Eddy4life: For sure. Get wit da' timez Eddy!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why can't the times just get with me?

Eddy4life: Because then the times would never change.

it'snotwhatyouthink: True

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: Are you guys really trying to teach Esme slang?

Eddy4life: Well not anymore.

shoppingishmyfuture: I coulda told you dat!

Eddy4life: Then why didn't you?

shoppingishmyfuture: Whateva whateva I do what I waaant!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

yo yo momma: So if this slang is suppose to make things shorter and easier then why do you replace is with ish?

Eddy4life: Because when you are amazing you can say ish because ish ish better.

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

BRB has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

superqueerface has entered chat

Eddy4life: YAY it ish da wolves!

yo yo momma: I can't understand you people. I am going to go clean something.

yo yo momma has left chat

BRB: What's up with her?

Eddy4life: She hates ish.

BRB: BRB

BRB has left chat

Eddy4life: She isn't coming back is she?

superqueerface: Nope

Eddy4life: Well then...

superqueerface: UGH! I g2g my mom wants me.

Eddy4life: BY SETHYKINS!!

superqueerface has left chat

wolfgang: soo...

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: DAVID MAC DAVID'S!!

Eddy4life: Do I even wanna know?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Probably not.

machonachoman: Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed BUN!

Eddy4life: Emmett we don't even eat. Why are you singing the McDonald's theme song?

machonachoman: JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T EAT DOES NOT MEAN I CAN'T ENJOY CATCHY THEME SONGS!

Eddy4life: It just didn't make much sense.

machonachoman: No Bella what doesn't make sense is why when I talk to professor fluffykins he doesn't talk back!!


	9. Chapter 9

Alright so I am being good today. I will be updating all day long because on Sunday I have no life. **CONTEST ALERT CONTEST ALERT** ok so it isn't really a contest per say. But I am going to do a chapter or 2 today totally dedicated to songs so PM me your favorite song and I will use it. Oh yeah Leila and I don't own Twilight but we do own CHIKA CHIKA YEEYAH! Ok no we don't thats the _Super Bad_ guys. Dang it Leila don't we own ANYTHING!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingisahmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

yo yo momma has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

Eddy4life: HEY! Ish Esme!

yo yo momma: Oh um I left the oven on. I have to go.

yo yo momma has left chat

wolfgang: But you guys don't eat. Why would she have the oven on?

Eddy4life: She's just hatin on the ish!

wolfgang: Riiiite

Eddy4life: O I g2g but I will brb!

Eddy4life has left chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

ifeelyahman: WOW! Why the heck am I in here with you?

wolfgang: Me don't know

ifeelyahman: O kay

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: EW WTF IS THE DOG DOING HERE?

ifeelyahman: I was wondering the same thing. Wait don't you like write this. Couldn't you like kill him off or something?

Jbizz: You see Jazzy that is why I love you. You are just so frikin amazingly smartical!

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: OH NO YOU DON'T! I am also writing this. You can't kill off my man!

Jbizz: Oh come on he is a hobo! And not one of the cute hobos either. He is an ugly smelly hobo.

wolfgang: Hey!

Leila Whatson: (runs to comfort Jake) It's ok I still love you Jake! (attempts to kiss)

wolfgang: WAIT! NO! I did not imprint on you!

Leila Whatson: SO! We don't have to tell Nessie!

Jbizz: (kisses Jasper suddenly then runs for the hills)

ifeelyahman: WTF

Leila Whatson: Oh god! Now I have to get her! Another time my love! (blows kiss to Jake) (runs after Jessie and catches her)

Jbizz: Must we leave?

Leila Whatson: You know the drill!

Leila Whatson has left chat

Jbizz: Don't ever forget my love for you Jasper! (uses MIB flashy thing) Skadoosh!

Jbizz has left chat

ifeelyahman: Wow what the heck am I doing here with you?

wolfgang: Me don't know

ifeelyahman: O kay

**Short yesh. Amazing idk! Well PM me for that awesometastic song thingamagig! I will use everyone's songs fah sho!**


	10. Chapter 10

I am sooo pumped for todays update-a-thon! I have my peanut M&Ms and my Route 44 Cherry Coke from Sonic (not the hedgehog). Get ready peoples cuz I am! _**CAUTION!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MOP WATER!**_

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingisahmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: Once again Emmett you know exactly when I am going to log on. I bet you are working with Alice!

machonachoman: LIES!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hey Edd...Edward!

machonachoman: Nice save Bella!

Eddy4life: Shut your mouth Emmy!

it'snotwhatyouthink: ha! She called you Emmy!

machonachoman: At least I am not a sissy boy like you Edward!

Eddy4life: If this is going where I think it is going then I am going...

it'snotwhatyouthink: it's not

machonachoman: How the hell did you understand that?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Because if you shine a flashlight in _my _ear you can't see the light out the other.

Eddy4life: OOO! Burn!

machonachoman: I don't get it

it'snotwhatyouthink: Naturally

machonachoman: IMAAAAGINAAATION!!

Eddy4life: Huh?

machonachoman: Oh I was just watchin _Sponge Bob **(A/N which we don't own either! :l)**_

Eddy4life: Um no offense Emmett but aren't you just a little too old for cartoons?

machonachoman: You are just jealous of my awesometasticness!

Eddy4life: Of course

machonachoman: IRON MAN!!

Eddy4life: WTF is up with you dude?

machonachoman: Can I not have the urge to say Iron Man in peace?

Eddy4life: No

machonachoman: Dammit!

yo yo momma has entered chat

yo yo momma: Language Emmett there are girls present

machonachoman: ISH!

yo yo momma: GAH!

yo yo momma has left chat

Eddy4life: I do not understand why she hates that word so much!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Because it doesn't make sense to her. Is vs ish!

Eddy4life: Ish would so totally win!

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: ISH ISH ISH!!

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Dangit! Leave these poor people alone!

Jbizz: They are NOT people! They are super sexy vampires or vampyres whatever floats your boat!

Leila Whatson: What ever. Were wolves rock!

Jbizz: LOOZER! You have to fix it this time! (throws Leila flashy thingy)

Leila Whatson: Fine!

Jbizz has left chat

Leila: (FLASH!! _ith_)

Leila Whatson has left chat

Eddy4life: Give it up Emmett ish would so win!

machonachoman: Fine! But her ishaphobia makes no sense to me

Eddy4life: It baffles me too

Eddy4life: Hey Edward when you are making mop water how much do you put in?

machonachoman: OOO! PICK ME! I know! a cup!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Actually it depends on how big the container is. You don't want too over concentrate the water and have the soap over power it. Suds would be everywhere.

machonachoman: NO! You always have to put in a cup! That is the way it is!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett you have no idea what you are talking about!

Eddy4life: I just need some dang mop water!

it'snotwhatyouthink: How big is the container?

Eddy4life: Uh like 2 gallons.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ok put like a fourth of a cup.

machonachoman: NO!! A CUP! 1 CUP! UNO CUP!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett shut up! You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met **(A/N Jbizz: My dad says that to me all the time! ;P)**

Eddy4life: Holy crow! I just need mop water!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why?

Eddy4life: Uh...I...uh...COMING MOM!

Eddy4life has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: I wonder what she is up to?

machonachoman: Ask Alice!

it'snotwhatyouthink: She is blocking her thoughts by reciting _Indiana Jones. **(Which we don't own)**_

machonachoman: Should we be scared?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Absolutely!

**So just two more chapters until I post the song chapters so PM me your songs! ;P Loviez!! Oh and that mop water argument was one I actually had with my dad. He was Emmett and I was Edward.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

Ok we don't own Twilight or Ozarka water! TEEHEE! Only a little while left to get your song in for the first chapter of the song escapade! Oh and this actually did happen to me. My dad did this on our way home from work today except there was no mop water involved so I got all inspired and stuff. AMAZING RIIITE! **(Leila: Not necessarily. Anyone can get inspired.) **What ever who asked you anyways? **(Leila: Tod did.) **You leave him out of this or emo kitty will get his revenge!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

ifeelyahman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Really why in the world would you do that Bella?

Eddy4life: Well I figured it wouldn't hurt that bad geeze

it'snotwhatyouthink: If Emmett could cry he would be.

shoppingishmyfuture: Emmett is a baby. It was just a bottle cap gun!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ok when you squeeze an Osarka bottle full of _mop water _until the cap explodes of and flies then hits someones eye it pretty much hurts. Not to mention the stupid mop water got in his eyes!

Eddy4life: Oh Edward! We were just having a bit of fun.

shoppingishmyfuture: Yeah Edward we didn't think he would react that way.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes you did Alice. You can see the future!

shoppingishmyfuture: Just because I can see the future doesn't mean I was looking into it.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh sure. You just didn't say anything because you knew Bella would back out.

Eddy4life: Well um Edward...

shoppingishmyfuture: SHUT UP BELLA!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What?

Eddy4life: Sorry Alice...well um she kinda did tell me that that would happen...

it'snotwhatyouthink: YOU WHAT!

Eddy4life: Well I was trying to avenge you.

it'snotwhatyouthink: And YOU! Jasper why didn't you stop your crazy wife?

ifeelyahman: WHAT! Since when was this my fault?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Since you let Emmett get hurt. That is not noble.

ifeelyahman: Just go jump off a bridge Edward.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why?

Eddy4life: Yeah! He would survive.

ifeelyahman: Life is full of dreams Bella and they are not meant to be peed on!

Eddy4life: I was just..

ifeelyahman: EH! (holds up hand) You have peed on my dreams for the last time Bella Cullen and I will not let this slide. (puts up pointer finger and wiggles it while pulling hand down through the air)

Eddy4life: But Jasper I can't pee!

ifeelyahman: THERE YOU GO AGAIN!

Eddy4life: Your logic is hopeless!

ifeelyahman: Only to a dream crusher like you!

**so yeah my friend Neva always says "Don't pee on my dreams!" so she inspired that little fiasco! Please PM your music peepsilz!**


	12. Chapter 12

So we have established that Leila and I are not reincarnations of Stephenie Meyer therefor we own nothing. **(Leila: Well I own a pair of blue jeans. Does that count?) **No! I meant we don't own Twilight or the Girl Scouts of America.

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

superqueerface has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

superqueerface: Hello all!

Eddy4life: Hey Sethykins!

machonachoman: Sup Seth

Eddy4life: I wish that I was the most amazingly talented person on earth!

superqueerface: Why?

Eddy4life: Idk. Just a random thought.

superqueerface: O...k

Eddy4life: Don't judge meh!

superqueerface: ok ok ok geezeuz!

girlyscout has entered chat

girlyscout: Hello people!

Eddy4life: Who are you?

girlyscout: Oh I am the head girl scout in Forks!

superqueerface: Forks has girl scouts?

machonachoman: Apparently

Eddy4life: How did you get in here?

girlyscout: Oh I have my ways! So do you want to buy any girls scout cookies!?

machonachoman: Um we don't eat

girlyscout: What? You don't eat? So you are like anorexic?

machonachoman: No we just don't eat.

girlyscout: ... what do you eat?

machonachoman: blo-

Edd4life: EMMETT! He means we are vegetarians.

girlyscout: But Girl Scout cookies don't have meat in them. Well at least most of them don't

superqueerface: Most?

girlyscout: We don't need to talk about that. So are you going to buy some or not.

Eddy4life: Well we are like uber-vegetarians. We don't even eat dairy so sorry.

girlyscout: Well you are in luck because we have new soy cookies.

Eddy4life: Look kid we just don't like cookies ok.

girlyscout: How can you not like cookies? That is insanity!

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Alright kid! I HATE overbearing girl scout kids! (brings out light saber)

girlyscout: BRING IT ON! (pulls out sword)

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Jessie! We don't have time for this! Just pull an Indie!

Jbizz: Ok then! Indian Jones it is. (puts away light saber and pulls out gun) 0bang bang0

Leila Whatson: (takes care of body) You know what to do my friend! (throws Jessie flashy thing)

Leila Whatson has left chat

Jbizz: (MIB thing _FLASHith_)

Jbizz has left chat

Eddy4life: Hey were is that annoying girl scout girl?

machonachoman: Beats me!

superqueerface: Do any of you guys have the weird sense of deja vu? Like we are missing something?

Eddy4life: No why?

superqueerface: Well it just seems like something or someone keeps coming but then erasing our memory of them being here so then we think that things just spontaneously happen. You know?

machonachoman: Are you talking about aliens? Oh Seth haven't you learned not to believe everything you hear?

superqueerface: Well I never believed that vampires and werewolves existed either but here we stand.

Eddy4life: Actually I am sitting on Edward's bed right now with my laptop. OO! There's Eddy now! (kisses Edward)

machonachoman: EW!

Eddy4life: HEEHEE! Eddy says hi!

Eddy4life: Hey guys.

superqueerface: Hey Edward

Eddy4life: Well I am gonna go spend some time wit my bay bay!

Eddy4life has left chat

machonachoman: So Seth. What's up with your name? I mean you aren't really a fag are you?

superqueerface: No! Leah made this account and I am way too lazy to change it so yeah.

machonachoman: Dude you can come out of the closet. Trust me. I won't tell!

superqueerface: I AM NOT GAY!

machonachoman: Ok ok (wink wink) I believe you!

superqueerface: UGH!

**Ok next update will be tonight just later because I have to go mow the frikin lawn and then make dinner but then I will update with the song chapter so PM your favorite song! ;P**


	13. Chapter 13

MMMKAY! It is time **DUN DUN DAH DUN!! THE SONG CHAPTER!! **This one will prolly be longer then the others because you guys rock and sent in your songs and because I am going to use some of my favorite songs and some of Leila's since we are just cool like that. Now without further a due! And in case you didn't know I don't own any of these songs!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

shoppingismyfuture has entered chat

FBW has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

superqueerface has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hello everyone! How's life?

wolfgang: Pretty good

machonachoman: Not so bad

Eddy4life: OMG I have this stupid song stuck in my head **(Jbizz: Don''t worry I am not dissing anyone here it is one of my songs ;p)**

it'snotwhatyouthink: What is it?

Eddy4life: This one part in _The Devil Went Down to Georgia_

FBW: I have found it helps to write out what is stuck in your head. Like one time I had this part of _The Jonas Brothers _song stuck in my head you know it goes _cuz I'm slippin into the lava and I'm tryin to keep from goin unda'. Baby you turned the temperature higher cuz I'm burnin' up burnin' up for you bay bay!_

superqueerface: Oooo! I know that song. Isn't that _Burnin' Up?_

wolfgang: Wow Seth! Who woulda' guessed? It only said burnin' up like what 500 times?

Eddy4life: Ok I could try that. But what if I mess it up

ifeelyahman: How could you mess up the lyrics to a song when you are typing them?

shoppingishmyfuture: Well it is Bella.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Enough making fun of my wife!

Eddy4life:_ Johnny you rosin up you bow and play your fiddle hard! Cuz hells broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards! And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold. But if you loose the devil gets you soooouuuul!_

it'snotwhatyouthink: I didn't know you liked country!

Eddy4life: I don't Edward that is why I called it a stupid song!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh...

machonachoman: I...AM...IRON MAN...DUN NUN NUN NUN NUN NUN NUH...NUH...NUH...NUUUHHH!

superqueerface: riiite

wolfgang: OOOO! I wanna try!

Eddy4life: mmmkay

wolfgang: _When she moves it this will yah move it like that! When she touches like this will you touch her like that! COME ON SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT!!_

ifeelyahman: I love Metro Station!

Eddy4life: Meh too!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Hey Bella if you could dedicate a song to us what would it be?

Eddy4life: Well Eddy! _Our song is a slammin screen door. Sneakin' out late tappin on your window! When we're on the phone and yah talk real slow cuz it's late and..._CHARLIE _don't know!! _Hahaha!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Aw that's nice but I would pick that song by Cascada that goes _Every time we touch I get this feelin and every time we kiss I swear I could fly can't you hear my heart beat fast I want this to last! Need you by my side!_

Eddy4life: Ooo! That one is good too!

machonachoman: This is getting waaay too mushy!

Eddy4life: What you gonna do about it?

machonachoman: _Shawty wanna li li li li lick it like a lolipop!_

FBW: NO! Emmett Cullen you will not type that raunchy song!

machonachoman: yes dear

superqueerface: _I can ride my bike with no handle bars noo handle bars nooooooo handle bars!_

Eddy4life: Oh Sethykins! You are so silly

shoppingishmyfuture: Hey I never got to type a song

FBW: Nobody's stopping you.

shoppingishmyfuture: _This is for all you girls about 13! High school can be so rough can be so mean! Hold on to...on to your innocence! Stand you ground when everybody's givin' in! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS! This is for all you girls about 25 in little apartments just tryin' to get by! Livin' on...on dreams and Spageteos! Wonderin' where your life's gonna go! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS! WHO'VE EVER HAD A BROKEN HEART! WHO'VE WISHED UPON A SHOOTING STAR! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS WHO LOVE WITHOUT HOLDIN' BACK! WHO DREAM WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE! ALL AROUND THE WORLD! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS! (this ones for all the girls) This is for all you girls about 42. Tossin' pennies into the fountain of youth! Every laugh...laugh line on your face! Made you who you are today! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS WHO'VE EVER HAD A BROKEN HEART! WHO'VE WISHED UPON A SHOOTING STAR! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS WHO LOVE WITHOUT HOLDIN BACK! WHO DREAM WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE! ALL AROUND THE WOOOORLD! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS! Yeah we're all the same inside (the same inside) From 1 to 99. This ones for the girls who've ever had a broken heart. Who've wished upon a shooting star. You're beautiful the way you are! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS WHO LOVE WITHOUT HOLDIN' BACK! WHO DREAM WITH EVERYTHING THEY HAVE! ALL AROUND THE WORLD! THIS ONES FOR THE GIRLS! (this ones for all the girls) YEAH THIS ONES FOR THE GIIIRLS! (this ones for all the girls). DUN... DUN ...DAH DUN!_

ifeelyahman: Wow Alice. You didn't have to write all the lyrics.

Eddy4life: How...

machonachoman: HOW THE HELL DID YOU TYPE THAT SO FAST?

shoppingishmyfuture: I have my ways

it'snotwhatyouthink: Wow

superqueerface: _If I was president! I'd get elected on Friday! Assassinated on Saturday! Buried on Sunday! They go back to work on Monday!_

wolfgang: You just had to say it didn't you Seth! I LOVE THAT SONG!

Eddy4life: Isn't that by _Wyclef Jean?_

wolfgang: Yup

it'snotwhatyouthink: _Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City? Your a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes yah do!_

Eddy4life: Who the HELL is Delilah?!

it'snotwhatyouthink: It is just a song Bella dear

Eddy4life: Oh

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Emmett I think you know how to end this chapter.

machonachoman: Righto' boss!

Jbizz has left chat

Machonachoman:_ F is for friends who do stuff together!_

superqueerface: _U is for you and mee!_

ifeelyahman: _N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!_

Eddy4life: _F is for frolic through all the flowers!_

shoppingishmyfuture: _U is for ukelali!_

wolfgang: _N is for nose pickin' cherry gum and sand likin! Here with my best buddies!_

FBW: What

it'snotwhatyouthink: the hell?

**And there you go. A combination of all the fans songs! WOOH! Love you guys sorry it took so long to update (slaps self with rubber chicken)**


	14. Chapter 14

OH! MY! JASPER! Guess what!! I own Twilight now! **(Leila: WHAT?!) **Ok so no that is still Stephenie Meyer but one day I will make (cough force cough) Jasper mine! Well here is a lil chappy I like to call Crash and Burn!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: OMC Emmett I can't believe you did that!

shoppingishmyfuture: I can

Eddy4life: Duh! You can see the future

shoppingishmyfuture: True that

machonachoman: I didn't really do anything wrong!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Right Emmett! You only broke Esme's ten thousand dollar _antique _vase

machonachoman: Why can't she just buy a new one?

Eddy4life: Emmett! It was ANTIQUE! Emphasis on WAS!

shoppingishmyfuture: And ANTIQUE!

machonachoman: I don't get it

Eddy4life: Em when something is antique it means that it is old and not being made anymore. So no she can't just get another one.

machonachoman: Ooo! I just found this sticker on a piece of the vase. It says _one of a kind..._ Oh crap!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yeah she is

shoppingishmyfuture: Wait wait...no she isn't.

machonachoman: SWEET!

shoppingishmyfuture: She is gonna make you _wish _you were dead_er._

machonachoman: OH MY CARLISLE! What is she gonna do Alice? SPIT IT OUT!

shoppingishmyfuture: she is gonna make you eat only local animals (aka: no bears) and well um I am not sure you wanna hear this last part.

machonachoman: O GOD! Nothing she can do can possibly do can top no bears! Just give it to me straight!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh I think it can!

machonachoman: STFU EDWARD!!

Eddy4life: Hey! No swearing at my husband or I will take you down Emmett!

machonachoman: I'm sorry Edward. Bella. I am just freaking out!

shoppingishmyfuture: Now Emmett just promise me you will remember that I am not the one that made this punishment up. Ok here goes...she is taking away...

machonachoman: OH GOD! MY CAR! NOOOOO!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Nope! ROSE! HAHAHAHAHA!!

machonachoman: WHAT?! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Eddy4life: Teehee!

machonachoman: NO! NOT TEE HEE! BOO HOO!

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Emmett it will be fine. Stop being such a pansy!

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Hey! Don't be so mean to Emmett. He has no self control.

machonachoman: HEY! That is not true guys!

Jbizz: Yeah it is Emmett.

machonachoman: What do you know!

Jbizz: EVERYTHING! I AM A GENIUS! MUAHHHAHAHAH!

Leila Whatson: And I am also a GENIUS!! MUAHHAHAHA!

Jbizz: So now that you know that we are evil geniuses! I BET YOU that you can't go as long as Esme tells you without trying to see Rose!

machonachoman: Must not give in...

Eddy4life: Emmett I bet you too!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I will second that!

machonachoman: FINE!! FINE FINE FINE! I will take that bet!

shoppingishmyfuture: Excellent!

**Will Emmett survive! I dun nuh! Or do I? Muhahaha! You shall find out later today (or tonight depending). Reviews make the world go round! You guys are soooo good about reviewing sooo here you go!**

Jbizz: Edward I need you to do me a favor...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes?

Jbizz: Give each of these fan girls a hug and kiss(for the guys just give them a car or something)

it'snotwhatyouthink: Sure thing boss since well you are writing this so I have absolutely no choice.

Jbizz: Don't worry! I won't make Bella mad at you.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Thanks! (gives fans hugs and kisses)

**So there! Now you know how awesome you are! **


	15. Chapter 15

Ok I will never own Twilight! (cries)

Special thanks to these fans who rule!

**1. Dopey-Genius  
2. EdwardsGirl4ever  
3. Full Moon Writing  
4. Hyper Blood Pixie  
5. Leila Wahtson  
6. LillyDeCross  
7. MrsCullenforeva  
8. O Wingless One  
9. TheCullenFamily121  
10. Twilightgrl717  
11. Vampiress-Ariya  
12. colourguardqueen  
13. fax and mango  
14. jn.v13  
15. mishacon  
16. rach cullen  
17. randomnessgirl**

Because we love you guys!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: OMC! Esme is home. Crap!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why are you scared?

Eddy4life: Because when Esme is mad she can tend to find things other people did to make her mad so she can execute _more _punishment!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well you didn't do anything so no worries. Hukuna Matata! **(Jbizz: Lion King! Best movie EVER! But I don't own it. ;P)**

Eddy4life: Do not quote _Lion King _at me at a time like this!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Sorry sorry.

Eddy4life: Actually EDWARD! I did do something!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What? What do you mean. You have been with me and Nessie all day...

Eddy4life: Yeah but the other day I was outside and accidentally um... put a teeny tiny little dent in her car.

it'snotwhatyouthink: And?

Eddy4life: And usually she wouldn't notice oor care very much but now that she is fired up she will bring everything she has out. I am frightened!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What could she possibly do?

Eddy4life: Take you away!! MORON!! She is taking Rose from Emmett! OMG! I CAN'T LIVE THROUGH THAT!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella we can take care of the dent.

Eddy4life: Fine...

superqueerface has entered chat

superqueerface: Hey Bella I have a question...

Eddy4life: What Seth!?

superqueerface: Never mind! I will ask Leah! Geezuz!

shoppingismyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: AHHAHAH! Seth you are so weird! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW!!

superqueerface: Well geeze I'm not a girl!

BRB has entered chat

BRB: coulda fooled me!

Eddy4life: Ok what the heck is going on?

it'snotwhatyouthink: A very embarrassing question.

Eddy4life: Huh?

superqueerface: I just was walking through the store and saw these things called _tampons _and didn't know what they were. So I bought some and like took one out then looked at the instructions but they didn't make much sense.

Eddy4life: SETH!! OMIGOD!

BRB: WTF SETH! EW! YOU PERV!

superqueerface: What? What are they?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Seth they are used during a woman's menstrual cycle-

superqueerface: LALALALALALALA! I don't wanna know anymore!! GAH!!

superqueeface has left chat

BRB: Wow what a queer!

BRB has left chat

Eddy4life: ...

shoppingishmyfuture: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Poor kid.

Eddy4life: (passes out)

it'snotwhatyouthink: Bella you can't pass out...

Eddy4life: Oh yeah...

machonachoman has entered

machonachoman: HOLY CRAP! Esme is piiiiisssed!

shoppingishmyfuture: I told you!

machonachoman: She has sent Rose to an undisclosed location. But I _am _still allowed to talk to her on chat but other people have to be on.

Eddy4life: Why...oh!

machonachoman: Dang this is gonna suck! I miss my Rose already!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Don't forget about the bet Emmett!

machonachoman: Don't make me rip you into pieces Edward!

Eddy4life: HEY! You will do no such thing!

machonachoman: I will not go down alone! I am gonna tell Esme about the remodeling you did on her car!! HA!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: NO! I am sooooo dead!

shoppingishmyfuture: Don't worry. I saw this happening so I took care of the dent and the broken mirror.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Broken mirror?

Eddy4life: Um yeah...

FBW has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hey Rose! Where are you?

FBW: Esme sent me to Texas! God it is HOT here, not that it bothers me much, but still. And it is ALWAYS SUNNY!

Eddy4life: IN PHILADELPHIA!

FBW: No I said Texas...

Eddy4life: It's...nevermind

FBW: So what is my Emmett up to?

shoppingishmyfuture: Nothing much just getting his ass chewed out.

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Ok what is with you people and the dirty language? I am going to have to clean your mouths out with soap!

FBW: Who the hell are you!

Jbizz: Casper

Eddy4life: The friendly ghost?

Jbizz: Sure we'll go with that

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: What is your problem Jessie?

Eddy4life: Jessie? But I thought you said your name was Casper! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!

Leila Whatson: What...you must stop doing this. I don't know if this flashy thing can cause brain issues or not.

Jbizz: Sho Nuff Boss!

Leila Whatson has left chat

Jbizz: I really hate doing this guys but I am sooooo sorry! (_FLASHith_)

Jbizz has left chat

Eddy4life: OOOHH HAPPY DAYS! (oh happy days!)

shoppingishmyfuture: You have some issues.

Eddy4life: Only some?

**So yeah not the best chappy but I am bored so I just decided to write some more. SOooooooOOOooOOOOOOoOOo yeah!**


	16. Chapter 16

So this thing I like to call Twilight, yeah I don't own it. Leila FINALLY helped me out and so this chappy should be better then the last few which were ruled by complete and total boredom. **WARNING WARNING WARNING!! Contains suggestive nudity! But please people it isn't like I am gonna describe anything! EW! ;P**

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

Eddy4life: I coulda gone my whole existence without seeing that!

ifeelyahman: I feel yah man!

it'snotwhatyouthink: That was eternally disturbing!

Eddy4life: Good thing Jake took Nessie! Wow I don't know what that could have done to her...

it'snotwhatyouthink: I would rather not think of how that would ruin what childhood she has left!

ifeelyahman: Hey I was thinking...**(Jbizz: I was really thinking this right this moment! ;P) **why does the letter K and the letter C sound the same by themselves but CH make the ch sound but KH doesn't?

Eddy4life:...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Jasper you are a moron!

ifeelyahman: At least _I _didn't enjoy seeing Emmett in the nude!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I DID NOT!!

Eddy4life: ENOUGH! Can someone at least EXPLAIN why he did that!?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh I forgot you just walked in after he explained himself. Well...

ifeelyahman: He has mental issues for one...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well yeah but here is his explanation- "Come on guys! I got bored because well Esme sent Rose away for 2 days so since today was my last day I just decided to go swimming to pass the time."

ifeelyahman: To which I responded "What?! That still doesn't explain why you are stark naked!"

it'snotwhatyouthink: Then Emmett explained ever so stupidly " I am air drying!"

Eddy4life: He...was...what...you...I...EW!!

ifeelyahman: Yes that was my reaction too.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes it is a grotesque fact of life.

Eddy4life: But...why?!

ifeelyahman: Like he said he was "air drying"

Eddy4life: I KNOW WHAT HE SAID!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Now Bella love lets not get testy...

Eddy4life: TESTY? TESTY?! I'LL SHOW YOU TESTY!!

ifeelyahman: Why is she so moody?

Eddy4life: _BECAUSE _I JUST SAW MY _BROTHER NAKED!!_

ifeelyahman: Aw come on! It aint' like you haven't walked in on him and Rose at least once.

Eddy4life: No actually I haven't but _thank you _for the MENTAL IMAGES!

ifeelyahman: Chill out Bella! It is just the human body.

Eddy4life: NO NO IT ISN'T! It is a SPARKLING _vampire body! And my BROTHER!_

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Dang chill out yo! It isn't like you haven't seen lil Eddy here nakey-poo!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Eddy?!

ifeelyahman: nakey-poo?

Eddy4life: That is _soooooo different. _And YOU know it Casper!

Jbizz: Well geeze! I didn't know it was such a huge production. Maybe they should make it a _Broadway Musical. _I can see it now _Nakey-Poo Emmett on Ice!_

Eddy4life: You are not helping things Casper...

Jbizz: I am not here to help...I am here to make them (points to you guys) laugh!

Eddy4life: Who? Where? I don't see anyone!

Jbizz: That is because you are too busy thinking of _Nakey-Poo Emmett on Ice!_

Eddy4life: Am not

Jbizz: Are too

Eddy4life: AM NOT!!

Jbizz: ARE T-

Leila Whatson has entered chat

Leila Whatson: Ok what is going on here?

Jbizz: Well you remember when your sisters did that whole "air drying" thing?

Leila Whatson: (shudders) Yes

Jbizz: Well Emmett here pulled the same thing...

Leila Whatson: EW!

Jbizz: Yeah and now Bella is making a HUGE deal of it

Leila Whatson: Why?

Jbizz: Thats what I said! So now I said that it should be a _Broadway Musical _called _Nakey-Poo Emmett on Ice_ since she can't stop thinking of it.

Eddy4life: Can too!

Jbizz: And now she is arguing with me! It is gettin' on my nerves yo!

Leila Whatson: Well maybe we should just let this drop.

it'snotwhatyouthink: My thoughts exactly...

ifeelyahman: I am with Casper!

Jbizz: OH YEAH!!

Leila Whatson: Total Kool Aid moment!

Jbizz: What evz!

Eddy4life: HOW COULD YOU JASPER!

ifeelyahman: Because you keep yelling at me!

yo yo momma has entered chat

yo yo momma: ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! Edward and Jasper go get Emmett some clothes!

it'snothwatyouthink: Yes mom!

ifeelyahman: Sure thing momz!

ifeelyahman has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

yo yo momma: Bella stop obsessing over naked Emmett and help Alice clean up the water mess he made!

Eddy4life: Ok Esme...

Eddy4life has left chat

yo yo momma: And as for you two!

Leila Whatson has left chat

Jbizz: Coward!

yo yo momma: Now listen up Casper! You should stop starting so much trouble and-

Jbizz: STFU! (FLASH_ith_)

Jbizz has left chat

yo yo momma: Hmm why am I in chat alone? And why do I have the feeling something gross happened today...oh yeah. EMMETT!!

yo yo momma has left chat

**So I like this chappy! Idk why but I do! If you didn't catch on this chapter was purely Leila's idea. Full idea cred goes to her. She is the genius behind this one. I just write it because well um I really don't know. Maybe because I am a stupid genius so I make people laugh. She is good at the idea and I am good at the wording I guess you could say. Well this turned out to be longer then I expected. Well LEILA you rule! Please review! ;P**


	17. Chapter 17

**MMKay! Peoples I hate to post a chapter that is all author note so this might be sorta long before the story starts but it is IMPORTANT!! Ok so like 2 or 3 people have messeged me saying that the whole me and Leila being in the story ruins it. Now that is totally fine cuz we wanna hear what you have to say...but I don't want to stop putting us in there until I get a vote. So vote yes if you want to keep us in or no if you want us out. Leave your vote in a review or in a PM so that we can make our decision. Thanks so much peeps! -Jessie**

Alright I don't own Twilight! Why do you keep reminding me!! (cries self to sleep)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Jasper is this going to be a normal day of chat?

ifeelyahman: Do I look like a weather man to you?

Eddy4life: What?

ifeelyahman: Well weather guys sorta see the future yah know.

Eddy4life:...

ifeelyahman:...

Eddy4life: You are a moron...go get Alice.

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: No

Eddy4life: DANGIT!

ifeelyahman: Well maybe if we run we can get away before...

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: HEY GUYS!

ifeelyahman: Isn't Rose back?

machonachoman: Well yeah but you know how "they" say that you don't know what you've got til it's gone?

ifeelyahman: Yeah...

machonachoman: Well apparently in my case when it comes back you forget that you have it...

Eddy4life: Riiiite

shoppingishmyfuture: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!

Eddy4life: Dumber then Jasper's weather man comment?

shoppingishmyfuture:...that is the second dumbest thing I have ever heard!

ifeelyahman: WOOH!! I'm #1!!

Eddy4life: That is not something to be proud of...

ifeelyahman: You are just jealous of my #1ness!

Eddy4life: Of course I am...

shoppingishmyfuture: Ugh! Stop arguing you psychopaths!

ifeelyahman: Actually I am an empath.

shoppingishmyfuture: JASPER HALE! Don't test me!

ifeelyahman: Yes ma'am!

machonachoman: Wow

Eddy4life: OH! Emmett I forgot about you.

machonachoman: You...you...FORGOT! (cries)

Eddy4life: You can't...ugh never mind. No Emmett thats not what I meant!

machonachoman: No I see what it's like.

shoppingishmyfuture: (slaps Emmett)

machonachoman: OUCH!

Eddy4life: She didn't even touch you...

machonachoman: It hurt virtually

Eddy4life: MMHMMM!

machonachoman: GUESS WHY!

Eddy4life: No

shoppingishmyfuture: NO!

ifeelyahman: no

machonachoman: Man you people are no fun. Fine then I am forced to torture you.

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh god!! Emmett please

machonachoman: THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER WENT UP THE WATER SPOUT! DOWN CAME THE RAIN AND WASHED THE SPIDER OUT! OUT CAME THE SUN AND DRIED UP ALL THE RAIN AND THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER CRAWLED UP THE SPOUT AGAIN!

Eddy4life: OMIGOD! Not nursery rhymes!!

ifeelyahman has left chat

Eddy4life: PANSY!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

Eddy4life: What the heck! Nooooo!!

machonachoman: LITTLE MISS MUFFETT SAT ON HER TUFFETT EATING HER CURTS AND WAY! WHEN ALONG CAME A SPIDER WHO SAT DOWN BESIDE HER AND FRIGHTENED MISS MUFFETT AWAY!

Eddy4life has left chat

machonachoman: I can ride my bike with no handle bars nooo handle bars! **(Jbizz: Teehee! That song just came on!)**

**So I hope you liked it. Please send in your votes! TANKIES!**


	18. Chapter 18

MMkay peeps! This is a chapter were the Cullens wipe me and Leila out (no they don't kill us) Just read and find out. LOVE TO YOU PEOPLES! (peoples really is a word!;P)

**Oh yeah and I don't own Twilight...GASP!**

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

Jbizz has entered chat

Jbizz: Ok Bella! Ruining my myspace is sooo not cool!

Eddy4life: Well ruining my family's memories is not cool.

Jbizz: How did you even find out about that?

Eddy4life: Well my shield protected me against your stupid brain washing device!

Jbizz: Damn it! Fine what are the conditions?

Eddy4life: Ok you leave me and my family alone and I will not kill you...

Jbizz: Sounds fair enough to me.

Eddy4life: Oh and you better tell me your real name "Casper"

Jbizz: Why would I do that? You could be a stalker or a rapist like Emmett's Lima beans!!

Eddy4life: Do I look like a stalker?

Jbizz: That's the point...I can't see you!

Eddy4life: DANGIT! Just leave us alone and tell me your friggin name!

Jbizz: Fine fine don't need to get all testy dang!

Eddy4life: I am waiting

Jbizz: Jessie! Ok are you happy now you cretin!

Eddy4life: Cretin eh? I am soooo telling Edward!

Jbizz: Eh eh eh! Can't do that because then I wouldn't be able to leave you alone!

Eddy4life: Too shay!

Jbizz: I don't think that is how you spell it.

Eddy4life: Who asked you anyways?

Jbizz: No one! Can I not have an opinion?

Eddy4life: No you really can't/

Jbizz: Oh you are so on glitter girl!

Eddy4life: Glitter girl?

Jbizz: Yeah since you sparkle...wow you vampyres are so slow.

Eddy4life: It is spelled vampires...

Jbizz: Maybe in your book but in the book I am reading now it is spelled with a y!

Eddy4life: Moron...

**So now we are officially out of the series! Well except for the fact that we write the stuff but still...you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down!! **


	19. Chapter 19

Right so I am a moron and have no idea what the heck AU means so if someone could be so kind as to tell me. Tankies!

**Nobody on this friggin site owns Twilight...that is why we must write for this site...duh! And I also don't own _Vegitales!_  
**

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: GAH! Why does Rose have to be so stuck up?

Eddy4life: What do you mean?

shoppingishmyfuture: Well I asked her to come on chat but noooo she won't because she is a bootie head!

it'snotwhatyouthink: A what?

ifeelyahman: An ass hole...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh...why didn't she just say that?

shoppingishmyfuture: Because maybe I didn't feel like it! Maybe I wanted to act like I could stay the same age forever when in reality that is impossible!!

Eddy4life: Alice dear, you are staying the same age forever...

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh...OK! :D

ifeelyahman:...

machonachoman: Hmmmm I think we should play a game!

shoppingishmyfuture: OOO That is a great idea Emmett!

machonachoman: Well thank you!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ugh..

Eddy4life: Well I am glad that you three are all on the same page but um me and Jasper over here are wondering what the hell is going on...

ifeelyahman: I'm with Bella.

machonachoman: Lets play secrets...muhahaha!

Eddy4life: Huh?

shoppingishmyfuture: It is like Truth or Dare only there are no dares. And since we are on laptops we won't have to risk Carlisle or Esme hearing. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Eddy4life: I'm game!

ifeelyahman: Same

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ugh! Bella why must you go along with there antics?

Eddy4life: Oh come one Eddy! There are no secrets in this house and if there are then they shall be revealed! MUHAHA!

shoppingishmyfuture: Wow we are doing a lot of evil laughing today! MUAHAHA!

machonachoman: Not Jasper or Eddy...

ifeelyahman: Mu...ha...ha?

shoppingishmyfuture: Come on Jazz you gotta' put more feeling into it! Like this MUAHAHAHAHA!

ifeelyahman: No thanks.

machonachoman: What about you Eddy?

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

shoppingishmyfuture: He isn't going to talk if you call him Eddy.

machonachoman: WHAT! But Bella calls you Eddy all the time!

Eddy4life: I do NOT!

machonachoman: Uh...your screen name is Eddy4life.

Eddy4life: That is just cuz Edward4life looked sorta strange.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Are you saying my name is strange love?

Eddy4life: No! I love your name! It is very...sexy!! :D

shoppingishmyfuture: NOT NOW YOU TWO!

Eddy4life: Fine! (pouts)

machonachoman: On with the game! MUHAHAHAHA!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Who is going first Alice?

it'snothwatyouthink: ok

Eddy4life:...

shoppingishmyfuture: Emmett is first

machonachoman: Ok I will ask...Bella!

Eddy4life: Dear lord!

machonachoman: The lord can't save you now hon!

Eddy4life: Just ask me Emmett!

it'snotwhatyouthink: EMMETT! That is NONE of your business!

machonachoman: On the contrary my friend. I think it is my business!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Grrrr

machonachoman: Bella...do you still hold the V card?

Eddy4life: ...

machonachoman: Come on Bella you have to answer!

Eddy4life: No

machonachoman: Yes yes you do!

Eddy4life: NO EMMETT! No is the answer you moron!

machonachoman: GASP!

ifeelyahman: GASP!

shoppingishmyfuture: (giggles)

Eddy4life: Oh come off it guys! It's not like it wasn't expected!

machonachoman: (sniffle) Jazzy our lil girl is growin up! (sniffle)

Eddy4life: No I'm not! I am a vampire...

machonachoman: Well geeze you don't have to take everything so serious!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ok now that you are done tormenting my wife...Emmett!

machonachoman: Yes?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Have you ever thought of another woman while with Rose?

machonachoman: I don't have to answer that...

Eddy4life: On the contrary my good friend. You do!

machonachoman: Yes...but don't tell Rose!!

ifeelyahman: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

machonachoman: SHUT UP JASPER! Fine...

ifeelyahman:...

machonachoman: Jasper have you ever used your power against Alice just so you wouldn't have to go shopping?

shoppingishmyfuture: :(

ifeelyahman: Maybe once or twice...

shoppingishmyfuture: JASPER HALE!! How COULD YOU!! (dry sobs)

Eddy4life: It's ok Alice...

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh you are so kind Bella!

Eddy4life: What? What did I do?

shoppingishmyfuture: You said you would go shopping with me!

Eddy4life: No I didn't

shoppingishmyfuture: But you will!! HEHE!

ifeelyahman: Thank you Bella.

Eddy4life: But I...

ifeelyahman: PLEASE!

Eddy4life: fine...

shoppingishmyfuture: EEP!

Eddy4life: Ok but now I must ask Eddy a question! Hmmmm! OOOOO I know!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes?

Eddy4life: What did Alice dress you up as when she gave you a makeover? **(Jbizz: Remember in one of the early chapters this was mentioned.)**

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um...I don't think this is necessary.

Eddy4life: Oh but it is!

it'snotwhatyouthink: The Cucumber from Vegitales.

Eddy4life: Ok...I am no going to HAHAHAHAHAHA...sorry couldn't help it.

it'snotwhatyouthink: It is really not that funny...

Eddy4life: Aw Edward I'm sorry! (kisses)

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ok I forgive you :)

machonachoman: (cough) whipped (cough cough)

it'snotwhatyouthink: SHUT IT EMMETT!!

machonachoman: Alice you are the only one not to have a question!

shoppingishmyfuture: Well look at the time I better get going...

shoppingishmyfuture has left

machonachoman: Oh she will pay for that!

ifeelyahman: You had better not touch my wife!

machonachoman: Oh I won't...

machonachoman has left chat

ifeelyahman: What is he thinking?

it'snotwhatyouthink: You better go stop him fast Jasper!

ifeelyahman has left chat

Eddy4life: What was he thinking?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh he just went to play _Halo. **(Jbizz: Oops! Don't own that either!)**_

Eddy4life: oooo you are good!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Let's

Eddy4life: go to your room?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well I was going to say "let's go hunting" but I like your idea too.

Eddy4life: I could use something to eat...

it'snotwhatyouthink: But that can wait...

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

Eddy4life: Men!

Eddy4life has left chat

**Soooo! Yeah this one was sooo much longer then any of the other ones! I hope you liked it! Oh and guess what...I baked you people cookies so (hands out cookies) there! That is how much I appreciate all the love and support! **


	20. Chapter 20

_**Otay my peoples! I am so so so so sorry I haven't updated but I was at this uber-awesome sleepover at my friends house. This chapter is based off of said sleepover so now you can know how fun this was!! BTW me and Leila don't own Twilight, Blaire Thumb, The Ring, Charlie the Unicorn or any other professional things mentioned in this story.**_

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: And so the trend is set again...

machonachoman: Wow I didn't even use Alice this time!

Eddy4life: Sure...

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

ifeelyahman: Ok really? Why are we all in chat? We _can _talk you know...

shoppingishmyfuture: Oh dear Jazzy...you shall never understand!

ifeelyahman: I know...

machonachoman: HEY CHARLIE HEY CHARLIE WAKE UP!!

Eddy4life: Yeah Charlie you silly sleepy head wake up!

ifeelyahman: Ah... oh god you guys! This better be pretty frikin important! Is the meadow on fire?

machonachoman: NO CHARLIE! We found a map, to Candy Mountain. Candy Mountain Charlie!!

Eddy4life: Yeah Charlie! We're going to Candy Mountain! Come with us CHARLIE!

machonachoman: Yeah Charlie! It'll be an adventure. We're going on an adventure Charlie!

ifeelyahman: Yeah Candy Mountain right. I'm just gonna you know go back to sleep now.

machonachoman: Noooooo! Charlie! You have the come with us to Candy Mountain!

Eddy4life: Yeah Charlie! Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets and joy, and joyness!

ifeelyahman: Please stop bouncing on me!

machonachoman: CANDY MOUNTAIN CHARLIE!

Eddy4life: Yeah Candy Mountain!

machonachoman: Alright fine I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Alice what are they doing?

shoppingishmyfuture: They have Charlie goes to Candy Mountain memorized and now they are acting it out.

Eddy4life: lalalalalala

machonachoman: lalalalalalla

ifeelyahman: Gah! Enough with the singing already!

machonachoman: Our first stop is over there Charlie!

ifeelyahman: Oh god! What is that?

shoppingishmyfuture: Here comes my part...

machonachoman: It's a leoplurodon Charlie!

Eddy4life: A magical leoplurodon!

machonachoman: It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!

ifeelyahman: Alright guys you do know that there isn't an actual Candy Mountain right?

machonachoman: Shun the non-believer!

Eddy4life: Shuuuun!

machonachoman: Shuuuu-uh-uh-uuuuunah!

ifeelyahman: Yeah...

shoppingishmyfuture: Grawawagrhawarawr!

machonachoman: IT HAS SPOKEN!

Eddy4life: It has told us the waaay.

ifeelyahman: It didn't...say...anything!

machonachoman: It's jsut over this bridge Charlie!

Eddy4life: This magical bridge, of hope and wonder!!

ifeelyahman: Is anyone else getting like, covered in splinters? Seriously guys we shouldn't be on this thing!

machonachoman: Charlie! CHAAAARLIE! CHAAAAAAAARLIE! CHAR-

ifeelyahman: I'm right here what do you want!

machonachoman: We're on a bridge Charlie!

Eddy4life: We're heeeere!

ifeelyahman: Well what do yah know? There really is a Candy Mountain.

machonachoman: Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain! Fill me with sweet sugary goodness!

Eddy4life: Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave Charlie!

machonachoman: Yeah Charlie! Go inside the cave! Magical wonders that will behold when you enteeer!

ifeelyahman: Uh yeah thanks but no thanks. I'd rather stay out here.

Eddy4life: But you have to enter the Candy Mountain Candy Cave Charlie!

shoppingishmyfuture: Ok Edward sing the song!

it'snotwhatyouthink: No!

Eddy4life: Please?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Fine...

shoppingishmyfuture: Bun dun dun dun dun dun!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh when you down and looking for some cheering up just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave! When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheeery land, such a happy and joyfulled, a perky merry land! They've got lollipops and gummy drops oh so many thing! Oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town! It's the meka of the Candy Cave!! They've got jelly beans and coconut with little hats...candy mats chocolate pants it's a wonderland of sweets! Ride the Candy Train to town and hear the Candy Band! Candy Bells it's a treat as they march across the land! Cherry ribbons stream across the sky onto the ground, turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing candy tree. In the Candy Land imagination runs so free so now Charlie please won't you go into the cave!!

ifeelyahman: Alright fine! I'll go into the freakin' Candy Cave! This had better be good!

machonachoman: Gahahha!

Eddy4life: Gahaha!

machonachoman: Goodbye Charlie!

Eddy4life: Yeah goodbye Charlie!

ifeelyahman: Goodbye? What? HEY! What's goin on here?! Hello? Who is that?...Ow god! What happened? AW! They took my frikin kidney!

Eddy4life: THE END!

it'snotwhatyouthink: That was random and pointless.

Eddy4life: True but Emmett, Jasper and I love Charlie the Unicorn!

machonachoman: YOU WILL DIE IN 7 DAYZ!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett that is the last time I am letting you join in on the party "sleepover" festivities!

machonachoman: Just because I know how to have fun doesn't mean you have to be so rude!

Eddy4life: EMMETT!!

machonachoman: What?

Eddy4life: What kinda name is Jish? Such an odd name...

machonachoman: It's just a name dude!

Eddy4life: HAHAHA!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: So Bella did you have fun with the girls and Emmett?

Eddy4life: Yes, yes I did Edward. Maybe next time you should join us!

shopping ish my future: OOO! A mixed party!

Eddy4life: Um...Alice? Everyone in this house is married...except Nessie of course.

shoppingishmyfuture: Well I can dream

Eddy4life: Well no you can't because then you would have to sleep...

shoppingishmyfuture: UGH! You newborns get on my nerves with all your technical talk!

Eddy4life: I am just stating the facts.

shoppingishmyfuture: No! The fact is that you are going shopping with me today and then I will give you a makeover!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

Eddy4life: Should we admit her?

machonachoman: It didn't do much good the first time...

ifeelyahman: EMMETT! That is so insensitive!

machonachoman: Being sensitive is for queers and girls!

Eddy4life: Uh gay guys are a lot smarter and more fun then YOU Emmett! You are such a homophobe!

machonachoman: That would mean I was scared of gay people which I am not.

Eddy4life: Oh yeah? I bet I could find I gay vampire to beat you down!

machonahcoman: Bring it!

I'm#1 has entered chat

I'm#1: Yes Isabella?

Eddy4life: Hello Aro! Are you, deep down, really gay?

I'm#1: Yes, yes I am...why?

Eddy4life: Oh no reason, just wanted to hang out sometime! Thanks Aro! TTYL!

I'm#1 has left chat

machonachoman:...

Eddy4life: Are you still going to make fun of gay people?

machonachoman: No ma'am!

Eddy4life: Good! 'Cause it's not nice at all! Now go to your room!

machonachoman has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Aro is really gay?

Eddy4life: No not really but I was tired of his anti-gay remarks so I decided to scare the hell outa him.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Good work!

Eddy4life: I do try!

**Ok not very good but Aro always seemed gay to me (I love Aro he is myh favorite Volturi member) and I am bored and owe you guys an update! GO CANDY MOUNTAIN!**


	21. Chapter 21

Mmmhmm just rub it in that I don't own Twilight! People these days!

**WARNING!: If you haven't read Breaking Dawn then get your tush to readin' 'cause from now on there will be some major BD spoilers. PLEASE READ BD!!**

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: Edward...I have a question

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes love?

Eddy4life: Um...well Nessie wanted to get an IM account so I decided to ponder this with you.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Absolutely not.

Eddy4life: And why not? She is very capable of understanding the internet Edward. She is very smart!

it'snotwhatyouthink: But...

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: Hey guys! I vote Nessie gets to have an IM! She would be fun!

Eddy4life: Thank you Emmett.

it'snotwhatyouthink: I don't think it is a very good idea.

Eddy4life: You are being to over protective again.

machonachoman: Yeah Eddy! It isn't like little Nessie is gonna look at anything nasty like!

Eddy4life: That is enough outa' you Emmett Cullen!

machonachoman: Fine...fine

Eddy4life: Please be reasonable Edward! She just wants to have it so she can talk to Jake while he is at home.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well then she can just call him.

machonachoman: Oh yeah! That's what every teenage girl wants..."Oh hey Jake! I know we are suppose to be like destined for each other but my dad is tapping the phone line right now so I really don't feel comfortable talking..."

it'snotwhatyouthink: I do NOT tap the phone line.

machonachoman: Oh no...you just get on the other phone and listen in. Not to mention you won't buy her a cell phone!

it'snotwhatyouthink: She never asked.

Eddy4life: Oh really!? What I recall is on her birthday I gave her the cutest little pink _razor _when she came back to the cottage from Jake's house and then when she went to sleep you threw said phone out of the window into the river after breaking it into ten pieces!

it'snotwhatyouthink: FINE! She can have an IM! But so help me if I catch Jacob saying _anything _even the _slightest _out of line I will have his tail...literally.

Eddy4life: Deal!

machonachoman: Oooooo! Alice and Rose are going to be so happy!

Eddy4life: Why?

machonachoman: Because they bought her a brand new laptop.

Eddy4life: Ugh!

it'snotwhatyouthink: But we have to pick her screen name! It says a lot about a person and I don't want her portrayed as ...um...

machonachoman: A whore? Slut? Hoe bag? Hooker?

it'snotwhatyouthink: No, unintelligent, but thank you for the new worries!!

Eddy4life: Oh you people have no faith!

machonachoman: I vote her screen name be super-sexy-half-vampy! Hee hee!

it'snotwhatyouthink: EMMETT!

Eddy4life: Ugh!...I think it should be telepathic-cutie!

it'snotwhatyouthink: No...I was thinking my-dad-could-kill-you...

machonachoman: So conceited!

it'snotwhatyouthink: It is not conceited...it's a warning!

machonachoman: What ever!

Eddy4life: I think we should get some outside opinions.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Like?

wolfgang has entered chat

superqueerface has entered chat

wolfgang: Hey everyone!

superqueerface: SUP!!

Eddy4life: Jake! Seth! We need your opinion on something.

wolfgang: Shoot Bells

Eddy4life: Ok so I convinced Edward to let Nessie get an IM account but he insists we pick the screen name so what do you two think it should be?

superqueerface: I think it should be I-heart-the-wolf.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ugh...

Eddy4life: And you Jake?

wolfgang: Well isn't it kinda obvious what it should be?

Eddy4life: No...

machonachoman: Only to you! 'Cause you are like a weirdo! (dry sobs)

Eddy4life: Ignore him...

it'snotwhatyouthink: So what do you think Jacob?

wolfgang: danceswithwolves

**And so there you go! This is a contest! Vote through reviews or PM's as to what you would choose. Here are the choices so you don't have to scroll up...lazy people...jk!**

**1._Emmett's choice: _super-sexy-half-vampy**

**2. _Bella's choice: _telepathic-cutie**

**3. _Edward's choice: _my-dad-could-kill-you**

**4. _Seth's choice: _I-heart-the-wolf**

**5. _Jake's choice: _danceswithwolves**

**_Sorry Leila for not asking you first but you know how freakishly impatient I am! You get to vote also Leila!! THE FATE OF NESSIE LIES IN YOUR HANDS READERS!! CHOOSE WISELY! ;P_**


	22. Chapter 22

MMkay! So now we have a new addition to the screen name list! Thanks so all of you who voted! And believe you me, tons of people voted. Alrught look in the Screen Name list to see your winner! Oh and I don't own Twilight!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- my-dad-could-kill-you**

Eddy4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

Eddy4life: OOO Here comes Nessie! I am so happy she finally got something she wanted!

shoppingishmyfuture: I know! And now she can keep in touch with Jake!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Nessie is coming everyone so be nice.

machonachoman has entered chat

my-dad-could-kill-you has entered chat

my-dad-could-kill-you: Ugh! Dad why must I be subjected to this screen name?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Because it is true and I am an overbearing, overprotective father.

shoppingishmyfuture: True that!

Eddy4life: Oh hon it's ok. I think it is kinda cute.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Oh yeah it is really cute that I am threatening anybody who reads my screen name.

Eddy4life: Renesmee your dad loves you very much and is just trying to protect you.

it'snotwhatyouthink: What your mom said.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Ok I will buy that...for now ;P

Eddy4life: Soooo...is Jake coming online?

my-dad-could-kill-you: Teehee! Yesh!

machonachoman: It's nice to see you have adapted your moms typing slang.

Eddy4life: Is that an insult Emmett?

machonachoman: No!

Eddy4life: Good because I would hate to have to kick your butt in front of Nessie.

machonachoman: Killer Lima beans Bella!

Eddy4life: My foot down your throat Emmett!

my-dad-could-kill-you: Uncle Emmett you could take mom!

Eddy4lifE: Oh really Nessie!

my-dad-could-kill-you: Mhmm

machonachoman: Oh yeah! I've got Nessie on _my_ team!

my-dad-could-kill-you: That's right Uncle Em! But if you and mom were the last people on earth and mom wouldn't feel guilty about kickin' your butt then she could take you.

Eddy4life: And that's the way I raised her.

machonachoman: Well...then...(sniffle) I guess Team Emmett just lost a member

shoppingishmyfuture: Um...Emmett...you don't have a team anymore...unless it is a team of one.

machonachoman: Who is the one?

shoppingishmyfuture: YOU! Moron! Gah!

machonachoman: No need to become rash!

wolfgang has entered chat

my-dad-could-kill-you: JAKE!!

wolfgang: NESSIE!

Eddy4life: EDWARD!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: BELLA!!

wolfgang: BELLA!!

shoppingishmyfuture: JAKE!!

wofgang: ALICE!!

machonachoman: EMMETT!!

wolfgang:...

machonachoman: What?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Nothing...

wolfgang: Wow Nessie. I am a little scared of your screen name.

it'snotwhatyouthink: You shoulb be Jacob.

machonachoman: Be afraid! BE VERY AFRAID!

my-dad-could-kill-you: I didn't have a choice.

wolfgang: I see...

my-dad-could-kill-you: Really...dad would never kill you...right dad?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Of course not Nessie.

Eddy4life: As in I would never let him.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Exactly.

machonachoman: Um Edward I have a problem

it'snotwhatyouthink: What would that be?

machonachoman: Well it is raining outside and I want to go out. But Rose says I can't.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why not?

machonachoman: Cuz I have a metal pole. She says since it is raining and lightning I might attract some of it or worse...get wet.

Eddy4life: How is getting wet worse then getting electrocuted?

my-dad-could-kill-you: Auntie Rose has a very strange view on right and wrong.

wolfgang: Oh Nessie please don't tell me you are thinking of right and wrong again...

Eddy4life: Aw! Edward don't they sound so much like us?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Don't remind me.

**And there it ish! Special thanks to _Hyper Blood Pixie_ for the metal pole idea! That made me crack up laughing. So now we have a new carrie to make things interesting! GO NESSIE!  
**


	23. Chapter 23

I AM SOOOO SORRY! I have been bad. I haven't updated in like forevz! On with this story-ish thing that I really like to write.

**Really I don't own anything. I don't even own a car yet so geeze stop harassing me before a call the ASPCA!**

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- my-dad-could-kill-you**

my-dad-could-kill-you has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

my-dad-could-kill-you: Hey uncle Em! What's going on?

machonachoman: Nothing much young one.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Ok really? This is the wrong family to be talking about age...

machonachoman: That is the truth!! So why isn't Jacob online?

my-dad-could-kill-you: Well he is in my room so he doesn't need to be.

machonachoman: OMIGOD!! Your dad is gonna freak!

my-dad-could-kill-you: YOU WOULDN'T UNCLE EMMETT!!

machonachoman: He can read minds.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Nooooooooo

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Hello Nessie. Tell Jacob I said hello.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Dad really I...I'm sorry

it'snotwhatyouthink: Really Nessie it's ok.

Eddy4life: Surely your dad can relate to Jake. He used to sneak into my room every night.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Thank you love.

Eddy4life: What?

it'snotwhatyouthink: For giving him ideas.

Eddy4life: Oh Edward it isn't like they are doing anything wrong. They ARE in love. Nessie is nearly 15 now.

it'snotwhatyouthink: That is too young.

Eddy4life: Edward I wasn't much older when I fell in love with you.

it'snotwhatyouthink: And look where that got you...

Eddy4life: Edward we are not going to have the Beauty and the Beast discussion again! I love where that got me so SIP THE LIP!

it'snotwhatyouthink: (throws away imaginary key to mouth)

Eddy4life: Thank you...so Nessie, Jake how are things?

my-dad-could-kill-you: Just peachy.

it'snotwhatyouthink: And she got your sarcasm.

machonachoman: How did you do that!?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Do what?

machonachoman: THAT!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Talk?

machonachoman: YEAH!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett even if for some reason I really did lock my lips closed I would still be able to type.

Eddy4life: Nessie why don't you and Jake do something tonight?

my-dad-could-kill-you: Like what Bells?

Eddy4life: Oh hey Jake! Um maybe you guys could go hunting. It'd be fun...

my-dad-could-kill-you. Sounds good to me mom! Love you mom! Love you dad! I'll be back later!

it'snotwhatyouthink: In one piece Jacob.

my-dad-could-kill-you: Of course Edward.

my-dad-could-kill-you has left chat

Eddy4life: It is so weird to think of myself as a mom...

it'snotwhatyouthink: I know exactly how you feel love...

machonachoman: Ditto

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: I feel yah!

it'snotwhatyouthink: How?

machonachoman: Well yesterday I got a fish and felt just like a daddy!

Eddy4life: Felt? As in past tense?

machonachoman: Well I didn't know how much to feed it so I just gave it a bottle of it's food and then this morning it was ...like...all dead and stuff.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Wow...

Eddy4life: Edward do you eat fish? Like drink their blood and stuff cuz I have never tried that.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Um...no. I don't think I would want to try either.

machonachoman: UGH! Rose is calling. Cya peeps!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: Edward I am glad you are warming up to Jake.

it'snotwhatyouthink: I only tolerate Jacob because I owe him so much.

Eddy4life: Well at least you aren't trying to rip his throat out...

it'snotwhatyouthink: There's that...

**AN UPDATE!! YAY!! So now you have something to read and review! YAY! My fingers are typing too fast for my brain! GAH! OMIGOD THERE IS A FRIGGIN DEMON MOTH IN MY ROOM! (cries) I just killed it! I AM A MURDERER! Well happy reading!**


	24. Chapter 24

Don't own Twilight...special thanks to **colourguardqueen **for the idea and inspiration for this chappy! Oh and I don't own _Super Bad _either...as if I would want to.

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- my-dad-could-kill-you**

my-dad-could-kill-you has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

my-dad-could-kill-you: Hey Uncle Em! HEY DAAAAAADDY!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What do you want?

my-dad-could kill-you: Why whatever do you mean?

it'snotwhatyouthink: You called me Daaaaddy...therefor you want something that you obviously don't think I will agree to.

machonachoman: He's good...

my-dad-could-kill-you: I just wanted...to...change...my screen name...pleeease?

it'snotwhatyouthink: No

my-dad-could-kill-you: Ugh! I knew you would say that...

machonachoman: I AM McLOVIN'!!

my-dad-could-kill-you: Ooooo I wanna see that!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I would have to watch it first and then watch it with you...to make sure you don't "see" anything.

my-dad-could-kill-you: UGH!!

my-dad-could-kill-you has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: What's wrong with her?

machonachoman: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? YOU ARE THE MIND READER.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why are you yelling at me? :(

machonachoman: Oh sorry ...caps lock was on.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh...well um I can't read her mind over the computer Emmett.

machonachoman: Well then...you aren't a very good psychic then are you? Hmph!

machonachoman has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well geeze...what is it...leave Edward in the dark day?

it'snotwhatyouthink: And now I am talking to myself...wow.

ifyouonlyknew has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Who are you?

ifyouonlyknew: Nobody

it'snotwhatyouthink: Somebody has to be typing so you are somebody...

ifyouonlyknew: Nope

it'snotwhatyouthink: You aren't going to tell me are you?

ifyouonlyknew: Nah

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

wolfgang has entered chat

wolfgang: NESSIE!

ifyouonlyknew: JAKE!!

wolfgang: I can't believe you pulled that off!

ifyouonlyknew: I do know how to set up an IM account Jake...

wolfgang: I know Nessie it's just Edward can read minds.

ifyouonlyknew: Not when I am this far away from him.

wolfgang: Good thinking...are you in the woods?

ifyouonlyknew: Yup!

wolfgang: I love you Nessie!

ifyouonlyknew: AW JAKE! I love you too!

wolfgang: When can we hang out? Maybe we can go down to the beach...

ifyouonlyknew: Sounds great! I will meet you there tomorrow morning!

wolfgang: That would be great! I haven't seen you in a while Ness! **(that is my personal nick-name for her so please don't think it's a typo! THANKS! :D)**

ifyouonlyknew: I know! My dad is lightening up a bit...but you know...he is just as stubborn as my mom.

wolfgang: I know that's write!

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN!!

ifyouonlyknew: (gulp) yes daddy?

it'snotwhatyouthink: This is unacceptable! Get back to this house this instant! We have some talking to do.

ifyouonlyknew: Yes daddy...

ifyouonlyknew has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Was that good Jake?

wolfgang: Yup

it'snotwhatyouthink: Good...you didn't tell her anything did you?

wolfgang: Nope!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Good! Now...let's just give Nessie the good news.

**I am McCliffy! MUHAHAHA! Yeah so can you figure it out? I hope not! Update hopefully tomorrow! Oh I just started High School so that is why updates are not as often but I promise the story will go on!**


	25. Chapter 25

Don't own Twilight (sobs)

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee-danceswithwolves**

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: OH EDWARD! That was so sweet of you!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Which thing?

Eddy4life: Letting Nessie get a new screen name silly!

danceswithwolves has entered chat

danceswithwolves: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH DADDY!

it'snotwhatyouthink: You are welcome. I realised I was being too overprotective. I love you Renesmee now go have fun at Jacob's.

danceswithwolves: I will! BYE!

danceswithwolves has left chat

Eddy4life: So...I wonder what everyone is up to.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh god!

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Oh hey Emmett!

machonachoman: Hello!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett stop thinking about that!

machonachoman: Whatcha' gonna do about it yo!?

it'snotwhatyouthink: I am going to kill you! My mind is being raped!

machonachoman: Actually Eddy! You are the one reading my mind without permission...therefor _you _are mind raping _me!_

Eddy4life: Enough you two.

it'snotwhatyouthink: If you were as smart as you thought you were Emmett...you would still be an idiot!

machonachoman: And EDDY if you were half as funny as you thought you were you would be twice as funny as you are now.

it'snotwhatyouthink: You are a MORON!

machonachoman: Your mom's a moron!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Shut up!

machonachoman: Your mom shut up!

it'snotwhatyouthink: UGH!!

machonachoman: You know what Edward! Just go play fag tag with your stupid little dolls!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I don't have dolls!

machonachoman: You are SUCH a liar!

it'snotwhatyouthink: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Eddy4life has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Now look what you did!

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

machonacoman: Your mom goes to college!

**Vwala! An update! No I must go to bed but before I do I must tell you! I am going to write another song chappy so send in your fave songs! PEACE AND LOVE!!**

Jess


	26. Chapter 26

YAY! The much belated song chappy! Why must I keep reminding myself that I don't own Twilight!? Isn't once enough torture!? Ok on with the chapter!

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee-danceswithwolves**

FBW has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Edd4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

superqueerface has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

danceswithwolves has entered chat

FBW: Wow...

Eddy4life: Tell meh about it!

FBW: EMMETT! WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY SHIRT!! UGH!!

machonachoman: :( Well here we are again! Throwing punch lines...no one wins! As the morning sun begins to rise we're fading faaast!

FBW: Oh no! You will not get out of this one with a catchy JB song!

machonachoman: But...

FBW: UGH!

FBW has left chat

superqueerface: Wow... Head unda' water and yah tell meh!

Eddy4life: To breathe easy for a while!

shoppingishmyfuture: But breathin' get's harder...even I know that!

danceswithwolves: OMG! There is like this awesome band called Push Play and I just HAVE to see them live daddy please!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Push Play?

danceswithwolves: Yeah you know...I've been waiting for tonight! But five days can seem like forever!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I don't...

machonachoman: Macho macho man! I want to be a macho man! LA LA LA LA! LA LA LA LA! ELMO'S WOOOORLD! YOUR MY HONEY BUNCH!

Eddy4life: Emmett! Shut up!

machonachoman: You know what!? It's not too late...it's never too laaaaaate!

Eddy4life: Ugh... This world can turn me down but I won't turn away and I won't duck and run cuz I'm not built that way!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

wolfgang: One more kiss could be the best thing...

danceswithwolves: Who you kissin'?

wolfgang: One more lie could be the worst!

danceswithwolves: You lyin' to meh?

wolfgang: And all these thoughts are never resting...

danceswithwolves: Who you thinkin' 'bout?

wolfgang: And your not somethin' I deserve!

danceswithwolves: AW!

Eddy4life: What is it with you men?! You are always thinkin' we are too good for you...yall' got issues!

danceswithwolves: Yeah cuz...if I had you back in my world...I would prove that I could be a better girl...

shoppingishmyfuture: NAH NAH NAH NAH!! I guess I just lost my husband...I don't know were he went. I guess I'll just drink his money...I'm not gonna pay his RENT!! I got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna win it tonight!

Eddy4life: I'm gonna get in trouble! I'm gonna start a fight! NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH I wanna start a fight!

danceswithwolves: NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH I WANNA START A FIGHT!! SOOOO WHAT I'M STILL A ROCK STAR!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Wow...this is not...um...yeah...I...um...uh

ifeelyahman has entered chat

ifeelyahman: Why is Edward feeling very confused and irritated?

shoppingishmyfuture: Because we were singing songs that he doesn't know. :P

Eddy4life: Hey Jasper! Show Eddy what real music is...

ifeelyahman: Mkay...If I had to I would put myself right beside you. Now let me ask would you like that would you like that? And I don't mind...if you say this love is the last time...so let me ask if you like that...would you like that? NOOOOO!! SOMETHINGS GETTING IN THE WAY SOMETHINGS JUST ABOUT TO BREAK...I WILL TRY TO FIND MY PLACE IN THE DIARY OF JANE!!

danceswithwolves: Cover up with makeup in the mirror! Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again!

machonachoman: Your face!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

ifeelyahman:...

Eddy4life:...

danceswithwolves:...

shoppingishmyfuture:...

machonachoman: ONE DAY SHE WILL TELL YOU THAT SHE HAS HAD ENNNNNOOOOUUUUGGGHHH!! (crazy wicked awesome screams)

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

ifeelyahman has left chat

Eddy4life has left chat

danceswithwolves has left chat

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

machonachoman: Hate ah's!

**Yeah that sucked but like I said I just started High School but I really want to continue this story cuz I LOVE YOU GUYS!! So thanks so much for bearing wit me. Oh and BTW I have nothing against any of these songs that I don't own...and Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin and Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus are my two personal fave songs just in case you cared...yesh!!**


	27. Chapter 27

WAHAHAHA! No Twilight ownage for me! Wait scratch that...I own a hard back copy of Twilight but that's it...depressing I know.

**Screen Names:**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- myfutureishshopping**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee-danceswithwolves**

FBW has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: HEY HEY ROSE!! What did the blond's right leg say to the left?

FBW: Oh I do not know --

Eddy4life: Between the two of us we can make a lot of money!!

FBW: OH YEAH! Why are brunette's like door knobs?

Eddy4life: WHY?

FBW: Because everyone gets a turn!!

Eddy4life: You are so on!

FBW: Bring it!

Eddy4life: How does a blond kill a fish? ...she drowns it!!

FBW: How does a brunette kill a bird?...she throws it off a cliff!

Eddy4life: How does a blond loose 5 pounds?...takes off her makeup!

FBW: Why do brunettes wear there hair up?...to catch everything that goes over their heads!!

Eddy4life: How is a blond like a bottle?...they are both empty from the neck up!!

FBW: How do you know when you get a fax from a brunette?...it has a stamp on it!!

Eddy4life: Why do blonds drive BMW's?...because they can spell it!!

FBW: (sniffle) Bella that one hit home...

Eddy4life: Oh! I am so sorry Rose I didn't mean any of it really.

FBW: HAHA! I did bitch!!

FBW has left chat

Eddy4life: That one is devious!

machonachoman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hey Emmett and Edward! What are you guys doing?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Looking at you...

Eddy4life: Oh hey! What's up!(waves at Edward that is sitting on the couch!)

it'snotwhatyouthink: (looks up) Um as far as I can tell the celling.

Eddy4life: What are you doing Em?

machonachoman: (dry sobs) Watching _Cheetah Girls!  
_

Eddy4life: Wow...

machonachoman: (cries emotionally) NO DOH!! DON'T GET UPSET! SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO DISS YOUR POORNESS!! Why!! Why is the world so cruel!!

Eddy4life: Emmett chill...

machonachoman: How would you even understand my pain? HOW!DO I TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE? You...you...ho!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: (sniffle) People are calling me names a lot today...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Aw...Bella I'm sorry. (hugs)

Eddy4life: I feel better now! Especially since you are really hugging me!

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: HO!!

**There you go youngins! (my grampizzle says that so yeah) I really hope you guys are enjoying this story! LOVE TO YOU ALL!! Oh and um as for the blond and brunette jokes...I have nothing against brunettes..98 percent of my friends are brunette. And I am a blond myself so yeah...no offense intended! :D**


	28. Chapter 28

This chapter is thanks to _**Hyper Blood Pixie! **_Thanks so much for the idea!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

it'snotwhatyouhtink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

FBW has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

FBW: Ahem...Edward what exactly do you think you are doing?

it'snotwhatyouthink: I am putting the battery on my video camera...

FBW: And why in the world are you doing that?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Because I am going to video tape my daughter getting ready for her first date!

machonachoman: With a _dog!? _Who are you and what have you done with Edward?

it'snotwhatyouthink: There is no point in denying her what she wants most...Jacob. And besides...it's still her first date.

machonachoman: Mhm whatever..._alien!_

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ugh whatever...here goes!

FBW: Um Edward I wouldn't go in there if I were you...

it'snotwhatyouthink: And why not?! She is _my _daughter!

FBW: Because...

machonachoman: Too late...

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

machonachoman: Edward? Edward what's wrong? Talk to me buddy!!

ifeelyahman: He is in shock...

machonachoman: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!?

ifeelyahman: (points to self) empath...

machonachoman: Oh and now you are mister "I'm so good cuz I can feel what you feel duuuude!" What ever Jasper! You ain't got nothin on me!!

FBW: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!! Edward is coming to!

it'snotwhatyouthink: My...daughter...has...BOOBS!! (cowers in corner)

FBW:...

machonachoman:...

it'snotwhatyouthink:...I fail

machonachoman: At what?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Life Emmett!! LIFE!!

machonachoman: Wow your dramatical!...Did you get it on tape?

FBW: EMMETT!!

machonachoman: WHAT?! I was just curious!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes I did...but the tape is now burning.

ifeelyahman: Wow I have never felt Edward so embarrassed...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Do you have any acid?

ifeelyahman: Why?

it'snotwhatyouthink: To pour in my eyes...

**Poor Edward...no father wants to walk in on his daughter changing...no worries though. She was in pants and her bra so it isn't like she was nude!! I am not that demented! Well thanks so much _Hyper Blood Pixie _I know I didn't stay perfect with what you wrote but hey...I got the general idea rite? Thanks for not giving up on me people! YOU RULE!!**


	29. Chapter 29

Ok I am the worst person in the world and I now give you the right to slap me sillay! I am sooooo sorry I haven't updated! :( Pweeze don't be mad...

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: DID YOU SEE THAT RING!!

ifeelyahman: Edward calm down

it'snotwhatyouthink: NO!! SHE IS ENGAGED JASPER!! SHE IS FREAKIN' ENGAGED TO THAT DEMON DOG!! MY FRIGGIN DAUGHTER!!

ifeelyahman: Edward chill please just...

it'snotwhatyouthink: JASPER HALE SHUT UP!!

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: Ok what's going on?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oh...like you don't already know Bella...NESSIE!

Eddy4life: What about her?

it'snotwhatyouthink: WHEN...she...ugh...when she came back from her date with Jake and after she talked to you I saw her ring...on her LEFT HAND!!

Eddy4life: HAHAHAHAHA!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: WHAT? Why are you laughing at me?

danceswithwolves has entered chat

danceswithwolves: Dad I can explain...

it'snotwhatyouthink: No...no you can't. Go to your room...

danceswithwolves has left chat

Eddy4life: HAHAHAHA!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: OK Bella this is far from funny...

Eddy4life: Actually Edward funny is the perfect word for this!! HAHAHA!

ifeelyahman: I feel as if I am missing something...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Tell me about it...

Eddy4life: Edward the ring on her finger is _not _an engagement ring...it's a _purity ring!!_

it'snotwhatyouthink: A...what...you...how...I...a promise ring?

Eddy4life: Heehee...yeah

it'snotwhatyouthink: Why?

Eddy4life: Well my mom gave me hers and so I gave it to Nessie...no big deal and no near weddings... :D

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

ifeelyahman has left chat

Eddy4life has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Wow...I feel like a damn fool!!

machonachoman has entered chat

**(THE UPCOMING JOKE IS NOT MEANT TO BE RACIST!!)**

machonachoman: HEY HEY HEY HEY EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What Emmett...

machonachoman: Why does Snoop Dawg carry an umbrella?

it'snotwhatyouthink: You spelled dog wrong and I have no idea...

machonachoman: FO DRIZZLE!!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

**YAY ME YAY ME!! AN UPDATE OH YEAH!! Special thanks to my mom for that HYlarious joke!! Please review! LUV YAH!! :D**


	30. Chapter 30

This is a quick IM convo between Emmett and Edward. I just got bored so um yeah!!

**The only screen names you need to know:**

**Emmett: machonachoman**

**Edward: it'snothwhatyouthink**

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: HEY EDDIE!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett

machonachoman: Why so glum chum?

it'snotwhatyouthink: ?

machonachoman: What dawg? You ain't pickin up what I'm puttin' down?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Not the slightest.

machonachoman: Well aren't we moody today

it'snotwhatyouthink: I am NOT moody Emmett

machonachoman: GEEZUS!! Someone is PMSing!

it'snotwhatyouthink: How is that even possible? I am a man and a vampire you idiot!

machonachman: Hey man! I don't tell you how to live your life...

it'snotwhatyouthink: That is not even a way of life...moron

machonachoman: Look man! There is no need for such obscene language in my crib!

it'snotwhatyouthink:?

machonachoman: WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR HOOD!? **(heehee quote from _Be Kind Rewind_!)**

it'snotwhatyouthink: Can you try to be normal for like one second.

machonachoman: I could try but I am thinking it won't work out too well budday!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Of course not...

machonachoman: You know what! Just take your fag tag self back to queer camp!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

machonachoman:...

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

machonachoman: Edward?

it'snotwhatyouthink: What

machonachoman: What would you look like with corn rows?

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

machonachoman: Was it something I said?


	31. Chapter 31

TWO IN ONE DAY!! Oh yeah!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman _(A/N:Jbizz- My LOVE!!) (A/N: Leila: In your dreams woman)_**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW _(A/N:Jbizz: Like hahahahaha!) (A/N: Leila: Don't mind her. Inside joke alert!)_**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: If you only knew how much I could really be like that then I would like do things!

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: Idk I was just writing down a random sentence that came to my mind. Is that a problem woman?

Eddy4life: Uh no...I guess not.

machonachoman: You know what Bella! You just have too much sass for me! You just need to chillax!

Eddy4life: What the hell are you talking about?

it'snotwhatyouthink: It is pointless to try to understand him love.

Eddy4life: Tell me about it.

machonachoman: No! You know what I think?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett you _don't_ think.

machonachoman: I think that me and professor fluffy bunches of coats are the only normal ones in the world...the rest of you people are just crazy and WEIRD!

Eddy4life: Emmett you just like made a parody of Honey Bunches of Oats...you know...the cereal

machonachoman: Bella! Do not try to belittle my intelligence! You know good and well I don't eat weirdo human food for hobos!

Eddy4life: Cereal is not for hobos!!

machonachoman: Whatever...

it'snotwhatyouthink: This is just as pointless as our last IM conversation Emmett.

machonachoman: You never did tell me if you would look good in Corn Rows...or maybe Dred Locks...or how about a Mullit!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Or how about you shut up before I shove my foot so far up your--

machonachoman: WOOOAH BUDDAY! You are the queer here not me. You would enjoy that little act!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I have a wife and a daughter...how can you still think I am gay?

machonachoman: Easy...you should know...mindreader!

Eddy4life: Emmett...

machonachoman: WHAT!?

Eddy4life: Mind reader is two words not one.

**I know that was short but not all IM convos are epic novels so yeah. I am starting a new story if you want to check it out it is called _A Lot to Love..._it is a more serious one but I think it is pretty good so far.**


	32. Chapter 32

I just...yeah so um...I have nothing to say really... Oh yeah! Please nobody take offense to anything I write...I love everyone so therefor I poke fun at everyone! :D

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman **

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

danceswithwolves has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

danceswithwoves: OH JAKE!! I love the puppy! It is just the most adorable little thing ever! Don't you all agree?

Eddy4life: Of course!

shoppingishmyfuture: Absolutely!

ifeelyahman: Without a doubt! :D

it'snotwhatyouthink: Not at all...(cowers in corner)

machonachoman: I'm hungry...

Eddy4life: Edward get out of the corner!

machonachoman: I'm hungry

it'snotwhatyouthink: NO! The beast is still here!

machonachoman: I'm hungry!

ifeelyahman: It is not :(

machonachoman: I'M HUNGRY!!

Eddy4life: Shut

shoppingishmyfuture: Up

ifeelyahman: Emmett!!

danceswithwolves: UNCLE EMMETT NOOOO!!

wolfgang: Oh. My. God!

Eddy4life: What

shoppingishmyfuture: Happened?

danceswithwolves: Uncle Emmett ate my DOG!!

Eddy4life: He

shoppingishmyfuture: Did

ifeelyahman: WHAT?! (dry sobs)

machonachoman: Woah chill out Jasper. I told you guys I was hungry!

ifeelyahman: YOU EFFING MURDERER!! I...UGH!! (goes to corner with Edward and cuts self)

Edy4life: Look what you did Emmett!

shoppingishmyfuture: You made Jasper all emo!! You ass!

machonachoman: I...I'm sorry! (cries)

it'snotwhatyouthink: (jumps up and does a happy dance) OH YEAH!! THOU SLANE THE BEAST EMMETT!!

machonachoman: Um...yay?

wolfgang: NO! Not yay you leech! You oafish blood sucking scum!!

Eddy4life: Ahem...

wolfgang: Oh...um...no offense Bells.

Eddy4life: None taken...for now

danceswithwolves: DAD!! Hannibal was NOT a beast!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Nessie...you named the dog after a cannibal.

danceswithwolves: You have joined the dark side you dog hater! (slams a random door)

danceswithwolves has left chat

ifeelyahman: (continues sobbing)

shoppingishmyfuture: I better get the poor guy cleaned up. Come one Jazz

ifeelyahman has left chat

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

Eddy4life: (looks at Edward and Emmett) Damn fools!

Eddy4life has left chat

machonachoman: Man I am telling you! DREAD LOCKS!!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

machonachoman: It is always me...always Emmett left alone. It'll be OK Professor Fluffy Bunches of Coats.

machonachoman has left chat

**Thanks so much for the general idea and overall inspiration for this chapter _Hyper Blood Pixie. _You rule!!**


	33. Chapter 33

Oh yeah! Leila you rule...well and so does you dad for this idea! GO GRAPES!!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman **

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

danceswithwolves has entered chat

machonachoman: Hello Brethren!

Eddy4life:...

danceswithwolves: I think Uncle Emmett has gone crazy...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Silly Nessie...he has been crazy for a long, long, long...long time

danceswithwolves: Gottcha!

Eddy4life: So anywho! How is everyone?

it'snotwhatyouthink: I still don't understand why people these days find it necessary to give them self carpel tunnel instead of talking like normal people. Although I can't get carpal tunnel.

Eddy4life: Oh come on Edward. You are just mad cuz you can't read minds on IM!

it'snotwhatyouthink: So?

danceswithwolves: That _is _sorta pathetic dad.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Not helping Nessie.

danceswithwolves: Sorry...

machonachoman: I have a FAT grape!

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: It is telling me that Edward is gay!

it'snotwhatyouthink: WHAT?!

machonachoman:I believe the fat grape! Do YOU believe the fat grape?

it'snotwhatyouthink: What the Hyundai?

danceswithwolves: HUH?

Eddy4life: He is saying what the hell sweety

danceswithwolves: Oh!

machonachoman: FAT GRAPE!! FAT GRAPE!! You must believe the fat grape!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett I am not gay!

machonachoman: That's not what the fat grape says!

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

Eddy4life has left chat

machonachoman: Well hell!

danceswithwolves: I'm still here Uncle Em!

machonachoman: The fat grape says you aren't worthy

danceswithwolves: --

danceswithwolves has left chat

machonachoman: Well hell!!


	34. Chapter 34

This idea came from my orchestra teacher because she thinks we are awesome! HEHEHEHE!!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

wolfgang: You know Edward...for someone who hates chat so much, you sure are in here a lot!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Don't judge me

wolfgang: And why not?

machonachoman: NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER JUDGE A GAY MAN!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: UGH!!

machonachoman: Edward haven't you ever heard that gayness is awesome?

it'snotwhatyouthink: No Emmett actually I haven't!

machonachoman: Well Dr. Fluffy Bunches of Coats says that it is so I must believe

wolfgang: Right...

machonachoman: Are you questioning Dr. Fluffy Bunches of Coats?!

wolfgang: And if I am?

machonachoman: Then I would have to sick my Lima beans on you!! And the FAT GRAPE!

wolfgang: I'd like to see you try!

machonachoman: Oh no you didn't!!

wolfgang: Well look at the time...gotta go!!

wolfgang has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Now look what you've done!

machonachoman: All I have to say to you is PORTRAY THE AWESOMENESS!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: What?

machonachoman: gayness equals awesomeness. Therefor you must PORTRAY THE AWESOMENESS!!

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

machonachoman: Why is it always I who is left out in the meadow, all alone?

Why is it always I who must call you on the phone?

So the next time you have that urge to leave me

in the flowing green sea

think of how it feels to the...

to be left out in the meadow, all alone!

**Vwa la!**


	35. Chapter 35

This convo is almost exactly like a convo between me and my friend Curtis. Short and sweet!!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

Eddy4life: HEY EM

machonachoman: Cello Bello!

Eddy4life: OMG EMMETT! I heart your myspace pic!

machonachoman: Pretty awesome rite?

Eddy4life: Mhm but how?

machonachoman: How what?

Eddy4life: How did you get it like that?

machonachoman: That's how I do!

Eddy4life: But HOW!!

machonachoman: That is for me to know. My little secret.

Eddy4life: UGH!! Bitchassness!

machonachoman: Thank you.

**BTW I say bitchassness all the time. I love it! This was just kinda a short thing because Curtis made me laugh like an insane person. **


	36. Chapter 36

NEW CHAPTER!! The idea in this chappy are thanks to Cinderheart (or Hyper blood pixie depending)! I know I know! It was forever ago that you emailed me but still...at least it is here now.

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

danceswithwolves has entered chat

Eddy4life: Amazing!

wolfgang: What?

Eddy4life: We all entered in order of pairs with the exception of Emmett who's wife is a...never mind.

shoppingishmyfuture: bitchass?

Eddy4life: Yeah just a little. She possesses a great amount of bitchassness.

machonachoman: Hey...ok fine!

Eddy4life: Jasper? Why the _hell _are you wearing a thong?

ifeelyahman: Um...I have no idea...

wolfgang: A thong? A _man _thong?

danceswithwolves: OH MY GOD!

machonachoman: GOOD DOG ALL MIGHTY!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Emmett don't you mean God?

machonachoman: No

it'snotwhatyouthink: Oooook then.

shoppingishmyfuture: WHO DID THIS!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Uh oh!

Eddy4life: What?

shoppingishmyfuture: Do NOT act all innocent Isabella Cullen!

Eddy4life: What did I do?

shoppingishmyfuture: My CLOTHES, CREDIT CARDS AND MAKEUP ARE ALL GOOOOOONE!! BURNED TO OBLIVION!

Eddy4life: And why would I do that?

shoppingishmyfuture: Because you are a evil little girl who hates makeovers!

Eddy4life: This is true but still I didn't do it.

shoppingishmyfuture: Well then who did!

Eddy4life: Wait! Why didn't you see this comming?

shoppingishmyfuture: OMG!! JACOB BLACK! RENESSME CULLEN!! YOU TWO MUST DIE!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Hey now! Let's not get too drastic.

shoppingishmyfuture: Fine...YOU TWO MUST PAAAY!

wolfgang: Hey I didn't do it!

danceswithwolves: I'm sorry Aunt Alice...Uncle Emmett made me!

shoppingishmyfuture: EMMETT!!

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

machonachoman: Gotta run!

machonachoman has left chat

Eddy4life: Mhm...yeah...ok

ifeelyahman: I am going to kill every vampire besides me...

Eddy4life: WHY?!

ifeelyahman: Because I feel like such a minor character! I need to be loved more!

Eddy4life:...

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

Eddy4life has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

danceswithwolves has left chat

ifeelyahman: why aren't you running?

wolfgang: I'm a werewolf.

ifeelyahman: Oh I thought it was because you were Jacob Black.

wolfgang: Why would that matter?

ifeelyahman: Well because everyone already hates you anyways...

**No offense to Jacob fans but I hate him so yeah. Please don't flame me for it...:(**


	37. Chapter 37

**This ENTIRE convo came from the brilliant mind of_ Cinderheart in Twilight skies! _You are my hero Cinder!!**

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

danceswithwolves has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

danceswithwolves: Oh dear god!

Eddy4life: What is it,Nessy?

danceswithwolves: Have you seen Emmett Lately?

Eddy4life: No...

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life: Holy crap! hahahaha!

machonachoman: Bella, I swear I will kill you if you laugh one more time.

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture: As Punishment, I gave Emmett I sex change! I give you  
Emma!

danceswithwolves: So, uncle Emme- I mean Emma is now Aunt Emmet-er,emma.

shoppingishmyfuture: Yup.

Eddy4life: Lol. Poor Rosalie, what is she going to think when her husband  
turns gay?

shoppingishmyfuture: Why did you have to bring her up...

danceswithwolves: Oh no.

machonachoman: Oh dear god.

shoppingishmyfuture: You know, you should change your username,Emma, your not  
a man.

machonachoman: Shut up.

ifeelyahman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has signed on.

ifeelyahman: Rosalie! Everyone hide!

danceswithwolves: Bitchass alert!

it'snotwhatyouthink: That's Aunt Bitchass dear.

machonachoman:...

Shoppingishmyfuture: ...

Ifeelyahman: ...

Eddy4life: Um,Edward...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Yes,Love?

danceswithwolves: My father is a freak..

Eddy4life: Sh...sweety, we are in this together..

it'snotwhatyouthink: What's that supposed to mean? ... Ah! Auntie bitchass!  
-hides-

FBW has signed on

FBW: Where is everyone?

machonachoman: -crickets-

Shoppingishmyfuture:Emmet!

FBW: WTF?! Why is my husband a woman.

Eddy4life: Don't look at me. Or Nessy.

FBW: grr...

Ifeelyahman: Nope, don't look at me.

FBW: That only leaves you two, Edward,Alice. Who did it?!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I didn't do it Aunt bitchass!

shoppingishmyfuture: That kinda has a ring to it...

FBW: What did you call me?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Eep...

it'snotwhatyouthink has left chat

FBW has logged out

Eddy4life: Run,Eddy,Run!

machonachoman: Who gots popcorn?

ifeelyahman: Emma,hehe, we are vampires we don't eat.

machonachoman: Says you thong boy.

ifeelyahman: ...0.o

ifeelyahman has left chat

Shoppingishmyfuture: No one says that to my husband!

machonachoman: eek!

machonachoman has left chat

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

Eddy4life: I better go help your father...and your uncle...plus your new aunt...

Eddy4life has left chat

danceswithwolves: Wheres the popcorn..?

danceswithwolves: Hello...?

danceswithwolves: Ugh! Fine I will go make it myself!

danceswithwolves has left chat


	38. Chapter 38

New chapter new chapter! Well yeah I guess that's obvious...um..._**IMPORTANT!! NEW SONG CHAPTER IN PROGRESS! SEND IN YOUR SONGS BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!**_

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

danceswithwolves has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: BRETHEREN!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: It's brethren Emmett, not bretheRen.

machonachoman: Well sooooory Mr. Grammar Professor Dude!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Your welcome.

danceswithwolves: UNCLE...AUNT EMMETT!

machonachoman: Nessie...it was only a makeover. And now I am a man again...sheesh. Kids today, so naive.

danceswithwolves: What ever! Cross dresser!!

machonachoman: GASP!

Eddy4life: She has a point...

machonachoman: SO DO PENCILS!!

Eddy4life: O...k

it'snotwhatyouthink: Nessie what on earth are you eating?

danceswithwolves: Uh...nothing?

it'snotwhatyouthink: Renesmee...

danceswothwolves: Pickled carrots...

Eddy4life:Why?

it'snotwhatyouthink: More importantly HOW?

danceswithwolves: Well I put it in my mouth and then chew and swallow. Easy peasy!

it'snotwhatyouthink: But where did you get them?

danceswithwolves: Well _Sam's _of course. You can get anything at _Sam's! _Duh!

Eddy4life: But WHY?

danceswithwolves: Oh come on people. Don't tell me you have never entertained the thought of pickled carrots!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Never

Eddy4life: Ditto

machonachoman: POKEMON!

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: Ditto...it is a Pokemon. Yeah...

Eddy4life: Yeah...

it'snotwhatyouthink: You are a total moron Emmett.

danceswithwolves: Don't forget cross dresser!

machonachoman: (sticks out tongue)

Eddy4life: Tiddley Winks!

danceswithwolves: Huh?

Eddy4life: It's a game.

danceswithwolves: Sounds like a pretty gay game to me...

Eddy4life: Shut it Parrot!

danceswithwolves: Parrot?

Eddy4life: Like pickle and carrot together...

danceswithwolves: No.

machonachoman: NOW DO THE G SLIDE!

it'snotwhatyouthink: ?

machonachoman: Just thought it was the appropriate time.

_**SEND IN SONGS FOR SONG CHAPTER UP NEXT!!**_


	39. Chapter 39

I am so so so sorry that it tool forever to update but I am working on this really hard music for an orchestra contest and this song chapter was hard to write because you were all wonderful and sent in songs. HERE TIS IT!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

danceswithwolves has entered chat

ifeelyahman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

wolfgang has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hello everyone...I'm bored...

machonachoman: What are you gonna do? Spend you entire immortal life being bored! Sheesh.

Eddy4life: MAYBE!!

wolfgang: Ok let's just calm it down and DANCE DANCE!!

Eddy4life: Issues...

it'snotwhatyouthink: I woke up to the real life, and I realized it's not worth running from anymore. When there was no where left to hide I found out that nothing's real here but I won't stop now until I find a better part of me.

ifeelyahman: You ya'll call me emo...

it'snotwhatyouthink: It's a song!

ifeelyahman: Mhm yeah ok...whateeever you saaaay.

machonachoman: SOULJA BOY UP IN THIS...

Eddy4life: EMMETT!!

machonachoman: What?

Eddy4life: Not in front of my little girl.

danceswithwolves: She wanna lick lick lick it like a lolli pop!

Eddy4life: Nessie!

danceswithwolves: Sorry it just slipped out...

Eddy4life: Mmmmmhm.(gives THE EYE)

danceswithwolves: Momma! When I grow up I wanna be famous! Drive nice cars!

Eddy4life: You most certainly will not become a pussy cat doll!

machonachoman: Geeze Bella you need to get some. Maybe then you wouldn't be so frikin up tight.

danceswithwolves: EW! Uncle Emmett I did not want to think about that!

ifeelyahman: Then lets think about this...GIRL YOU GOT ME GOIN CRAAAAZY!!

wolfgang: Oh with the Jonas bro's again! Dang you are just like an obsessed teen girl Jazz.

ifeelyahman: What ev! But I kissed a girl! AND I LIKED IT!!

wolfgang: I should hope so...

ifeelyahman: WHAT IS LOVE!! BABY DON'T HURT ME DON'T HURT ME NO MORE!

wolfgang: I didn't even touch you...

Eddy4life: Stop it with your pointless bickering! sheesh! Your hot then your cold. Your yes then your no!! Make up your mind!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Well hon that's what you get when you let your heart win. WOAH OH OH OH!!

Eddy4life: Heehee!

machonachoman: You know what Edward! Your a womanizer woman woman womanizer yeah!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Do you even know what a womanizer is?

machonachoman: No...

it'snotwhatyouthink: Then shut it!!

machonachoman: (sniffle)

Eddy4life: Aw it's ok Em. Just shake shake shake shake shake shake it...off.

wolfgang: GiRl YoU sO dAnGeRoUs!!

Eddy4life: Why you typin like that?

wolfgang: I hAvE nO iDeA bUt DoN't It LoOk CoOl?

Eddy4life: Not really...

wolfgang: YoU jUsT jEaLoUs!

Eddy4life: I'm sure that is the case...(cough cough)

wolfgang: How did we get here? I used to know you so well. How did we get here? Well I think I know!

Eddy4life: Bi (cough) polar

danceswithwolves: is that even possible?

Eddy4life: What?

danceswithwolves: For a werewolf to be bipolar?

Eddy4life: I don't know Nessie. Do I LOOK like a wolf expert to you?

danceswithwolves: Maaaaybe

Eddy4life: Well then change your mind!

danceswithwovles: :(

wolfgang: You made Nessie sad... :(

Eddy4life:...I would turn on the tv but it's so embarrassing...

danceswithwolves: They're all the same they don't want the money. They're all the same they live for fame honey. They laugh at you when your not even bein funny.

wolfgang: If I have to hear any more about the JB's I will shoot myself in the leg.

Eddy4life: That would be funny...I mean heartbreaking...no it would be funny.

ifeelyahman: OH I'M A GUMMY BEAR OH YES A GUMMY BEAR!! OH I'M A YUMMY CHUMMY FUNNY LUCKY GUMMY BEAR!!

Eddy4life:...

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

wolfgang:...

danceswithwolves:...I LOVE THAT SONG!!

FBW has entered chat

FBW: What is up.

Eddy4life: Nothin really...

machonachoman: Cause i felt this deep connection when you spoke my name, and i can't wait to see you again.

FBW: Who are you singing that to!?

machonachoman: You duh silly.

FBW: You are not! Who is she?

machonachoman: No one I swear! (cowers in corner)

FBW: EMMETT CULLEN YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE!!

machonachoman: OMG!

machonachoman has left chat

FBW: It is time to kick some --

FBW has left chat

Eddy4life: Did he just say OMG?

it'snotwhatyouthink: And he calls _me _gay...


	40. Chapter 40

_**IMPORTANT!! Ok Leila and I have made another fanfiction account in which we will have all of our co-writen stories. The stories we already wrote together will stay on my account but this way it is easier so go add Jbizz and Leila Whatson to your Author Alerts.**_

_**Ok so this was just spose to be an Author Note but I couldn't do that to you so here tis it!! Just a shorty!!**_

**All you need:**

**Emmett: machonachoman**

**Nessie: danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

danceswithwolves has entered chat

danceswithwolves: Emmett

machonachoman: Nessie

danceswithwolves: YOU SUCK!

machonachoman: You are the one that threw pickled carrots at me!!

danceswithwolves: BULL!! BULL!!

machonachoman: Do not use that tone with me.

danceswithwolves: OH YEAH!! Or what!

machonachoman: I will sick my Killer Lima beans on you.

danceswithwolves: BRING IT!! I got NINJA CHEESE!!

machonachoman: GASP!!

danceswithwolves: Oh yeah! That JUST happened!

_**Just a shorty like I said. Also I am going to be startin a few new stories soon so look out for those!**_


	41. Chapter 41

This is a short convo that I had to write in congrats to our new president here in the USA!

**All you need:**

**Emmett: machonachoman**

**Edward: it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Bella: Eddy4life**

machonachoman has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman: CHIIIIIIIIIIIICKEN!! DANG IT!!! CHICKEN!!

Eddy4life: Dubblyew Tee Eff?

machonachoman: My bad......

it'snotwhatyouthink:...

Eddy4life: Sooooo...... who did you vote for?

machonachoman: OBAMA!

Eddy4life: Me tew!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Who didn't. I mean really. Did you see the results. McCain lost by so much that it was embarrassing to the Democrats.

Eddy4life: I thought he was a Republican....

machonachoman: Silly Bella! He can't be a Republican!

Eddy4life: And why not?

machonachoman: Because it's Tuesday!

Eddy4life: Oh yeah! Sorry Em your right.

it'snotwhatyouthink: But it's Friday....

machonachoman: Do not question the Zohan!

it'snotwhatyouthink:...........

Eddy4life: O O O OBAMA!! OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!! (sung to the beat of the O'Reilly Auto Parts commercial.)

it'snotwhatyouthink: Uh yeah...not til January though.

machonachoman: Just go piss on someone's grave why don't yah?!

it'snotwhatyouthink: WHAT?

machonachoman: Eye Dee Kay......


	42. Chapter 42

Hey yall'. I'm so so so sorry about not writing recently. Basketball season started and I had a huge concert plus finals BUT today is a snow day for me so I am going to update. BECAUSE THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR LATENESS!!!!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

Eddy4life has been in IM forEVER

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN!!

it;snotwhatyouthink: Yes dear.

Eddy4life: WHere HAVE you been. I have been waiting here forEVER. You told me "Yes love, we can go on IM." like a week ago!

it'snotwhatyouthink: That was like ten minutes ago Bella.

Eddy4life: LIEZ!!!

it'snotwhatyouthink:........

machonachoman has entered chat

machonachoman: HeLlO bReThErEn! WhAt'S sHaKiN?

Eddy4life: Edward was LATE!

machonachoman: GaSpItH!!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I was not late.

machonachoman: ShHhH!!! dO nOt QuEsTiOn ThE wOrD oF tHe ThInG!

it'snotwhatyouthink: WHat?

Eddy4life: Edward he said don't question the word of the thing. And what do you do? You QUESTION IT!!

it'snotwhatyouthink: I have obviously failed at something to have questioned the word of the thing. (said sarcastically)

Eddy4life: I don't understand.....

macnonachoman: WhAt?

Eddy4life: How can the earth be round if everything is flat?

machonachoman: Pickled cheese carrots on Fridays.

Eddy4life: Ahhh! I see.

it;snotwhatyouthink: (slaps own face)


	43. Chapter 43

Heres more. just came to me. I'm going to write another story but I want to know if you want it to be tragedy or romance?

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman has entered chat

it'snothwatyouthink has entered chat

machonachoman: Hey there sweet thang!!

Eddy4life: (blush)

it'snotwhatyouthink: DUDE! MY wife. Emphasis on MYYYYYY!

machonachoman: I was talkin to you! (waggle eyebrows)

it'snotwhatyouthink: ................EEEEEP!

Eddy4life: (un-blush) :(

machonachoman: If one was to ingest a garbage can full of paint thiner what would be the repercussions?

it'snotwhatyouthink: ............

Eddy4life: Well a normal person would die. You would be the same......a moron.

machonachoman: THANKS!!

it'snothwhatyouthink: Wow......

machonachoman: EDDY WETS THE BEDDY likes DOTS!!!!

it'snothwhatyouthink: EMMY is a MORON!!!!!

Eddy4life: That one didn't make sense Eddy Wets the Beddy.....

machonachoman: word

it'snothwhatyouthink has left chat

machonachoman: do you think he's upset?

Eddy4life: nah!


	44. Chapter 44

This is based on an actual convo between myself and my friend.

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman: Hello Bella.

Eddy4life: Hey Em!

machonachoman: Please call me Emmett.

Eddy4life: Ok.......Emmett

machonachoman: I was intreeged when I saw that shirt on clearance.

Eddy4life: What?

machonachoman: I'm tryin to be intelligent. Is it working?

Eddy4life: No. Especially since you spelled intrigued wrong.

machonachoman: Dang!

Eddy4life: Why is it that we are the only ones ever in chat?

machonachoman: Because the rest of them are just looooooooozerz who don't like computers.

Eddy4life: Lol

machonachoman: Plus we are more entertaining for our audience!

Eddy4life: ?

machonachoman: Never mind

Eddy4life: One day I'm gonna be famous.

machonachoman: How?

Eddy4life: Uh......that part's fuzzy.

machonachoman: You could always invent something everyone would use.

Eddy4life: Like what?

machonachoman: Like........a big sign that says "I'm kinda cool I guess"

Eddy4life: .............?


	45. Chapter 45

This is a very very very belated chappy. Hope ya'll aren't too mad....

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

shoppingishmyfuture has entered chat

Eddy4life: Hey!

machonachoman: Hola! Whats crackin?

Eddy4life: Eh?

machonachoman: Never mind......I'm so misunderstood.

shoppingishmyfuture: lol

machonachoman: It really wasn't that funny....

Eddy4life: SWINE FLUUUUUU!!!

machonachoman: Screw Swine Flu! I can't get sick (cough) O SHIT!! (runs for the hills)

shoppingishmyfuture: I wonder about you two sometimes.

Eddy4life: I know....I'm fabulous.

shoppingishmyfuture:........

Eddy4life: One sec. Gotta go get the Emster. (runs to hills) Damn! These hills aint got no eyes!

machonachoman: Duh silly! But this (holds up stack of money with googley eyes) is the money you could save with Geico.

Eddy4life: AHHH!!!! Tell me whose watchin! (runs away)

machonachoman: (sad face) man sorry lil dude. (throws money and runs to Alice)

shoppingishmyfuture: You guys do realize that you are sitting in a chair and not really running around hills and such right?

Eddy4life: There is unlimited cyberspace! I can do whatever I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shoppingishmyfuture: Someone didn't take their medicine......

Eddy4life: (glares from top of hill)

shoppingishmyfuture has left chat

machonachoman: YAY MORE CYBERSPACE FOR US!!!!


	46. Chapter 46

ANOTHER!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: And yet another day in the Cullen Manor.

it'snotwhatyouthink: ?

Eddy4life: It seems the "oldest" son is somewhat confused and baffled. What would you say Emmett my boy?

machonachoman: Righto' old chap! He does seem confuzzled to the max.

it'snotwhatyouthink: What are you two babbling on about?

Eddy4life: (GASP) He speeks! The shyest and not and muscley of the three Cullen boys has SPOKEN!

machonachoman: (GASP)

Eddy4life: Shhh! Emmerz...we wouldn't want to startle the poor chap.

machonachoman: Oh....sorry skipper.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Wow you guys are rediculous whn you are on the computer.

Eddy4life: Why....whatever do you mean Edward. We are only practicing for our audition as British explorers.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Isn't that a bit cliche'?

machonachoman: Your mom goes to college.

it'snotwhatyothink:What?

Eddy4life: Edward you are just not into this whole British rage. Garsh!

it'snotwhatyouthink: And you call "confuzzled to the max" British?

Eddy4life: Maaayybe.

machonachoman: I smell chili! **(I really am having chili tonight! YUM )**

Eddy4life: YUM!

it'snotwhatyouthink: We are vampires....we don't eat chili.

machonachoman: Says who?

Eddy4life: Don't even say your mom Edward because THAT would be cliche'.

it'snotwhatyouthink: I wasn't

Eddy4life: Sure

machonachoman: What's cliche' mean? Is it one of those McDonalds things like cubicle'.

Eddy4life: No

machonachoman: Then what.......OOOOOO a flutterfly!

it'snotwhatyouthink: Butterfly

machonachoman: It's not nice to ask a lady their age Eddypoo.

it'snotwhatyouthink: I didn't

machonachoman: I was just telling yo so you don;t offend anyone geeze

Edd4life: Who would he offend? WHy would he be talking to other laies? Who's age would he care about?

it'snotwhatyouthink: No one

Eddy4life: I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! I am calling CHEATERS!!!!

machonachoman: Do it girl!

Eddy4life: I am!

machonachoman: YAY!

Eddy4life: Wait what was I doing?


	47. Chapter 47

ANOTHER!

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink has entered chat

Eddy4life: You really can't talk me out of this Edward. They are already on their way.

it'snotwhatyouthink: Please Bella this is crazy.

Eddy4life: No you are crazy.

machonachoman: Yeah Eddy you are the one always talking about other women.

it'snotwhatyouthink: No I am not!

Eddy4life: Hey no yelling in my chat room.

pumpkineater has entered chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Who are you?

pumpkineater: The cheaters guy

it'snotwhatyouthink: Ugh!

pumkineater: I am here to see a Mrs. Bella Cullen

Eddy4life: I'm a Mrs. Bella Cullen.....for now.

pumkineater: As you know my team and I have been following your husband

Eddy4life: Yes

pumkineater: We have found evidence of him cheating on you

machonachoman: GASP!

danceswithwolves has entered chat

danceswithwolves: Mom why does dad look like he's about to kill someone?

Eddy4life: Because.....

machonahcoman: HE's been CAUGHT IN THE ACT!!!!

danceswithwolves: Of what?

machonahcoman: Cheating...

danceswithwolves: Well I can see that Uncle Em and mom have once again gone off the deep end so I am just going to be going now.

danceswithwolves has left chat

it'snotwhatyouthink: Really Bella this is crazy

Eddy4life:Don't you call me CRAZY!!!

machonachoman: Who is she man?

pumkineater: His car

Eddy4life:.....

it'snotwhatyouthink:......

machonachoman: I KNEW IT!!!!!!!


	48. Chapter 48

I heart CHUCK NORRIS

**Screen Names**

**Bella- Eddy4life**

**Edward- it'snotwhatyouthink**

**Jasper-Ifeelyahman**

**Alice- shoppingishmyfuture**

**Rosalie- FBW**

**Emmett- machonachoman**

**Carlisle- Dr. Vampy dude**

**Esme- yo yo momma!**

**Jacob- wolfgang**

**Seth- superqueerface**

**Leah- BRB**

**Renesmee- danceswithwolves**

machonachoman has entered chat

Eddy4life has entered chat

machonachoman: I'm telling you I could destroy Chuck Norris

Eddy4life: Emmett Chuck Norris would murder you

machonachoman: I'm a vampire

Eddy4life: So....they make steroids from his pee!!!

machonachoman: I have inhuman abilities

Eddy4life: He made up the tooth fairy to compensate for roundhouse kicking everyone in the face!

machonachoman: I made up Santa

Eddy4life: He ate Santa.

machonachoman: I bring the thunda'

Eddy4life: HE EATS LIGHTNING AND SHITS THUNDER!!!

mahconachoman:....


End file.
